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help just found out 11 year old is cutting

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  My 11 year old apparently is cutting.  I saw marks on her last night, while she was gone i looked in her room.  I put stuff back, but how do I approach her. I'm very understanding when it comes to her moods.  Lately, I have been very , very ill (almost died), then a close friends father did pass away.  She was being bullied. I asked her how she wanted me to help her with the bullying. Just listen, go to the principal. I wanted to make sure she felt in control, but with my help. Unfortunely, I can't be in control of my health right now, and I believe she is having trouble with this and is scared.  Plz understand I am not angry at her for the cutting, I need to know how I can help with my behavior so as not make the situation worse.  Do we need therapy? Do we just talk? 

Help

What a tough situation, she's so young. I'm not sure if almost dying and the health situation is something you're still in danger from but, especially if it is, it would need to be approached, perhaps through therapy since all of things have happened in her life are pretty recent, close together and traumatic.

Usually finding out the root causes of why somebody is self-injuring and working through them in talk therapy or some other form of treatment is more helpful than trying to "ban" the behavior or do any form of punishment for it. I'm not saying you're doing this currently but the first therapist I went to when I was fifteen suggested rather ridiculous and unecessary things to my parents to try to spook me out of self-injuring, which just led to lying rather than true progress.

Keeping the communication lines open is important. Letting her know you're not angry that she's self-injuring and that you want to help her feel better. That you're willing to listen or just be there if she feels like self-injuring.

This link goes over some strategies for family members of people who are self-injuring.

http://self-injury.net/information-recovery/family-and-friends

Good luck!

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