Articles: Cutting Clubs
By Stephanie Booth
What's the lastest and more shocking new "friendship" ritual? Teen People looks at how a growing number of kids are bonding with their peers by slicing themselves with razor blades.
The day was hot, the teacher was droning on and Kailia Lawsom, 13, was feeling tense as she sat in class that Septmeber 2002 morning. Then her friend Lisa (name has been changed) took a razor blade from a supply closet and nudged her. "Come to the bathroom," Lisa said.
Kaila sensed what the signal meant. Days earlier, noticing that they had similar scars on their arms, the girls had confided to each other that they'd been secretly cutting themselves when they felt stressed. (Other kids who cut say the same thing--that the pain of the injury eases their emotional pain.)
With their secrets out, the girls sneaked out of class to start their "cutting club." Locked in a bathroom stall at the San Jose, Calif., school, Lisa sliced the inside of her arm with the razor blade until it bled. Then she passed the blade to Kaila and they took turns slicing their skin. "I felt bad for not trying to stop Lisa," says Kaila. "[But cutting] makes you feel numb, like nothing else matters." Once the girls started cutting together, they couldn't stop, first doing it once a week, then daily. Somethings another pal, Nicole (changed name), joined in.
Cutting is shocking, but it's not new. What is new is some teens are turning it into a group thing. While there aren't formal studies on the subject, experts like Wendy Lader, clinical director of the Naperville, Ill., treatment program S.A.F.E. Alternatives, say it's a growing and scary phenomenon. "Cutting together 'normalizes' [it]. Kids hear about it and want to try it," says Lader.
Take Robert Patterson, 18. A few years ago, Robert was eating lunch with his friends at his Fort Worth, Texas, school, when one girl lifted her sleeve. "She'd carved the initials of her boyfriend with a safty pin on the inside of her arm, and we were all like, 'Wow!'" he recalls. Soon, Robert and his crew were all carving their arms with safty pins. "Cutting was so calming," says Robert, who decided to stop self-injuring two years later. "It let my bad feelings out."
Other kids have found more creative ways to develop a cutting community. Kinber Roberts of El Reno, Okla., who's been cutting for about four years, sought out "cutting clubs" online. She participates in more than 15 chat rooms where self-mutilators trade tips about cutting and hiding their scars. "The sites are comforting," says Kinber, 15, because she can chat with other teens who share her mind-set. "It reassures us." Kaila found that same kind of reassurance when she spotted scars on Lisa's arm. "Until then, I was oblivious that anyone else cut themselves," says Kaila. Cutting with Lisa was this release. I wasn't thinking about my problems anymore."
As Kaila and Lisa continued to cut together, their sessions got more intense and competitive. "It was almost as if we were competing to see who could cut the most or whose cut was the deepest," says Kaila. And that's a common development, experts say. "Cutting together and turn into a one-upmanship," says Lader. "It becomes 'I've got more pain than you do! I'm tougher than you!'" Still, Kaila wasn't feeling tough in October when her mom found a razor blade in their guest bedroom and called a crisis line, which recommended that she take Kaila to the hospital. Kaila got two weeks of therapy at the hospital--and she doubts she'd have quit without the help.
Since leaving the hospital, Kaila has continued therapy. "I learned to accept myself more," she says. Although Kaila has also dropped some extra-curriculars to ease stress, the biggest help may be that she broke ties with Lisa and Nicole. "[At the time] I thought they understood my pain like no one else," she says. "But we were just making things worse for each other."
The day was hot, the teacher was droning on and Kailia Lawsom, 13, was feeling tense as she sat in class that Septmeber 2002 morning. Then her friend Lisa (name has been changed) took a razor blade from a supply closet and nudged her. "Come to the bathroom," Lisa said.
Kaila sensed what the signal meant. Days earlier, noticing that they had similar scars on their arms, the girls had confided to each other that they'd been secretly cutting themselves when they felt stressed. (Other kids who cut say the same thing--that the pain of the injury eases their emotional pain.)
With their secrets out, the girls sneaked out of class to start their "cutting club." Locked in a bathroom stall at the San Jose, Calif., school, Lisa sliced the inside of her arm with the razor blade until it bled. Then she passed the blade to Kaila and they took turns slicing their skin. "I felt bad for not trying to stop Lisa," says Kaila. "[But cutting] makes you feel numb, like nothing else matters." Once the girls started cutting together, they couldn't stop, first doing it once a week, then daily. Somethings another pal, Nicole (changed name), joined in.
Cutting is shocking, but it's not new. What is new is some teens are turning it into a group thing. While there aren't formal studies on the subject, experts like Wendy Lader, clinical director of the Naperville, Ill., treatment program S.A.F.E. Alternatives, say it's a growing and scary phenomenon. "Cutting together 'normalizes' [it]. Kids hear about it and want to try it," says Lader.
Take Robert Patterson, 18. A few years ago, Robert was eating lunch with his friends at his Fort Worth, Texas, school, when one girl lifted her sleeve. "She'd carved the initials of her boyfriend with a safty pin on the inside of her arm, and we were all like, 'Wow!'" he recalls. Soon, Robert and his crew were all carving their arms with safty pins. "Cutting was so calming," says Robert, who decided to stop self-injuring two years later. "It let my bad feelings out."
Other kids have found more creative ways to develop a cutting community. Kinber Roberts of El Reno, Okla., who's been cutting for about four years, sought out "cutting clubs" online. She participates in more than 15 chat rooms where self-mutilators trade tips about cutting and hiding their scars. "The sites are comforting," says Kinber, 15, because she can chat with other teens who share her mind-set. "It reassures us." Kaila found that same kind of reassurance when she spotted scars on Lisa's arm. "Until then, I was oblivious that anyone else cut themselves," says Kaila. Cutting with Lisa was this release. I wasn't thinking about my problems anymore."
As Kaila and Lisa continued to cut together, their sessions got more intense and competitive. "It was almost as if we were competing to see who could cut the most or whose cut was the deepest," says Kaila. And that's a common development, experts say. "Cutting together and turn into a one-upmanship," says Lader. "It becomes 'I've got more pain than you do! I'm tougher than you!'" Still, Kaila wasn't feeling tough in October when her mom found a razor blade in their guest bedroom and called a crisis line, which recommended that she take Kaila to the hospital. Kaila got two weeks of therapy at the hospital--and she doubts she'd have quit without the help.
Since leaving the hospital, Kaila has continued therapy. "I learned to accept myself more," she says. Although Kaila has also dropped some extra-curriculars to ease stress, the biggest help may be that she broke ties with Lisa and Nicole. "[At the time] I thought they understood my pain like no one else," she says. "But we were just making things worse for each other."
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