Articles: Secret Shame
By Jo Mould
Jo Mould lifts the shroud of ignorance covering self mutilation
Anorexia, bulimia, and drug abuse are all topics that find their way into teen magazines and school PSE lessons: self-mutilation, the act of cutting, burning or injuring yourself, is not, despite being equally common.
Hidden under a shroud of ignorance and shame, this subject can be misunderstood as failed suicide attempts or a vulgar way of attracting attention. This makes it so much harder for self-injurers to ask for help.
Samantha, a student at the University of Manchester, has tried to explain her experiences of SI (Self Injury) and how she got through it: "I want people who self-injure to know that they're not alone, the way I felt."
This is not a romantic subject. But the figures are damning; statistics from Babiber and Arnold estimated in 1997 that up to 10 per cent of the population self-injure. This shows a substantial increase from 1993 where it was estimated by researchers Favazza and Rosenthal that 0.4 per cent self-injure. However, current figures contrast sharply, perhaps this is an indication of a lack of public awareness and focussed research. It is a common affliction that nobody talks about. And now, sufferers are calling for greater understanding of a sensitive issue that upsets and disgusts a lot of people and affects many more. The first thing most self-injurers emphasise, is the distinction between self-injury and suicide.
"They are totally different, there is no way I would ever commit suicide," says Samantha. The two are often confused, or even worse, a self-injurer is seen as someone not brave enough to commit suicide.
This is incorrect because the motivation of the two acts is generally very different: a person who truly attempts suicide seeks to end all feelings, whereas a person who self-mutilates seeks to feel better. It may be hard to believe but sufferers find the act of consciously hurting themselves a cathartic experience.
"I enjoyed it ... I used to grin after doing it," says Samantha. However, although self-injury will not necessarily lead to suicide. Dr Galal Badrawi, a Surrey-based psychiatrist, told oxygen that those who do SI are 10% more likely to commit suicide, and it should not be forgotten that accidents can happen. Samantha would often cut herself when she had been drinking a lot and admits: "When I did cut near the wrist it was like flirting with danger."
If the intention is not to commit suicide then what lies behind such destructive behaviour? Obviously every case is going to be very different. A common misconception is that it is attention seeking, but this is very rarely the case simply because for the number of people who self-injure we hear surprisingly little. Everyone's first impression is that of a angst-ridden teenage girl. Although the statistics are not conclusive, it is generally women who self-injure. However, it is not exclusively teenagers, sufferers come from all walks of life such as teachers, lawyers, or medical professionals, all functioning effectively in demanding jobs. Another stereotype is that it relieves tension, and, although vastly oversimplified, this can explain the basic physical need that motivates self-injury. There are, of course, other factors. "There is a lot of pressure in our society to be cool, and have your life together and succeed," says a counsellor from the Samaritans, who must maintain her anonymity, citing her personal experiences with SI sufferers. "It is very difficult for many people to admit that things aren't right. People tend to think that everyone else is fine. SI provides a way out that nobody needs to know about."
Samantha relates her personal experience more fully: "When you get frustrated with your brain whizzing around you get it to focus on something else. It also gives you something more tangible to cry about. You do it because it hurts and the pain gives you a certain amount of control over your situation." As Trent Reznor, lead singer of industrial rock group Nine Inch Nails, puts it in one of his less cheerful songs: "I hurt myself today to see if I still feel, I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real." This reinforces a view held by many professionals that a self-injurer will attempt to avoid the frightening and unknown pain of a distressing memory or event by creating a more tangible pain that they can control. This can be something as horrendous as child abuse or a more common upset such as a break-up or loneliness. A cold-turkey approach to treatment is therefore very destructive. A person who has begun coping with difficult situations using self-injury can not simply stop just because they are told to.
Self-injury has a function in their life and it has to be replaced before they can stop. The sufferer has to go through the very painful process of beginning to deal with emotions they have previously avoided - something most people face in the latter stages of puberty. But, recovery is possible. Dr. Badrawi: "In very few situations is SI linked to clinical depression. In the majority of cases, the first step to recovery is therapy and prescribed drugs will rarely have any effect."
However, the fact that it is a taboo subject makes asking for help a very difficult process. When Samantha finally found the courage to tell people about her SI, she found little support from her friends and family. "Most people were shocked and embarrassed" and so failed to provide any help. She explains: "I've lost friends through it but those that stuck by me have gained a lot of self-knowledge."
As the subject becomes more widely discussed things will hopefully improve for those seeking help. In the past decade a lot of ground has been covered. More and more research is being done and clinics opened for SI sufferers. It is not something that is easy to accept, but anorexia and bulimia were equally reviled some five years ago.
Anorexia, bulimia, and drug abuse are all topics that find their way into teen magazines and school PSE lessons: self-mutilation, the act of cutting, burning or injuring yourself, is not, despite being equally common.
Hidden under a shroud of ignorance and shame, this subject can be misunderstood as failed suicide attempts or a vulgar way of attracting attention. This makes it so much harder for self-injurers to ask for help.
Samantha, a student at the University of Manchester, has tried to explain her experiences of SI (Self Injury) and how she got through it: "I want people who self-injure to know that they're not alone, the way I felt."
This is not a romantic subject. But the figures are damning; statistics from Babiber and Arnold estimated in 1997 that up to 10 per cent of the population self-injure. This shows a substantial increase from 1993 where it was estimated by researchers Favazza and Rosenthal that 0.4 per cent self-injure. However, current figures contrast sharply, perhaps this is an indication of a lack of public awareness and focussed research. It is a common affliction that nobody talks about. And now, sufferers are calling for greater understanding of a sensitive issue that upsets and disgusts a lot of people and affects many more. The first thing most self-injurers emphasise, is the distinction between self-injury and suicide.
"They are totally different, there is no way I would ever commit suicide," says Samantha. The two are often confused, or even worse, a self-injurer is seen as someone not brave enough to commit suicide.
This is incorrect because the motivation of the two acts is generally very different: a person who truly attempts suicide seeks to end all feelings, whereas a person who self-mutilates seeks to feel better. It may be hard to believe but sufferers find the act of consciously hurting themselves a cathartic experience.
"I enjoyed it ... I used to grin after doing it," says Samantha. However, although self-injury will not necessarily lead to suicide. Dr Galal Badrawi, a Surrey-based psychiatrist, told oxygen that those who do SI are 10% more likely to commit suicide, and it should not be forgotten that accidents can happen. Samantha would often cut herself when she had been drinking a lot and admits: "When I did cut near the wrist it was like flirting with danger."
If the intention is not to commit suicide then what lies behind such destructive behaviour? Obviously every case is going to be very different. A common misconception is that it is attention seeking, but this is very rarely the case simply because for the number of people who self-injure we hear surprisingly little. Everyone's first impression is that of a angst-ridden teenage girl. Although the statistics are not conclusive, it is generally women who self-injure. However, it is not exclusively teenagers, sufferers come from all walks of life such as teachers, lawyers, or medical professionals, all functioning effectively in demanding jobs. Another stereotype is that it relieves tension, and, although vastly oversimplified, this can explain the basic physical need that motivates self-injury. There are, of course, other factors. "There is a lot of pressure in our society to be cool, and have your life together and succeed," says a counsellor from the Samaritans, who must maintain her anonymity, citing her personal experiences with SI sufferers. "It is very difficult for many people to admit that things aren't right. People tend to think that everyone else is fine. SI provides a way out that nobody needs to know about."
Samantha relates her personal experience more fully: "When you get frustrated with your brain whizzing around you get it to focus on something else. It also gives you something more tangible to cry about. You do it because it hurts and the pain gives you a certain amount of control over your situation." As Trent Reznor, lead singer of industrial rock group Nine Inch Nails, puts it in one of his less cheerful songs: "I hurt myself today to see if I still feel, I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real." This reinforces a view held by many professionals that a self-injurer will attempt to avoid the frightening and unknown pain of a distressing memory or event by creating a more tangible pain that they can control. This can be something as horrendous as child abuse or a more common upset such as a break-up or loneliness. A cold-turkey approach to treatment is therefore very destructive. A person who has begun coping with difficult situations using self-injury can not simply stop just because they are told to.
Self-injury has a function in their life and it has to be replaced before they can stop. The sufferer has to go through the very painful process of beginning to deal with emotions they have previously avoided - something most people face in the latter stages of puberty. But, recovery is possible. Dr. Badrawi: "In very few situations is SI linked to clinical depression. In the majority of cases, the first step to recovery is therapy and prescribed drugs will rarely have any effect."
However, the fact that it is a taboo subject makes asking for help a very difficult process. When Samantha finally found the courage to tell people about her SI, she found little support from her friends and family. "Most people were shocked and embarrassed" and so failed to provide any help. She explains: "I've lost friends through it but those that stuck by me have gained a lot of self-knowledge."
As the subject becomes more widely discussed things will hopefully improve for those seeking help. In the past decade a lot of ground has been covered. More and more research is being done and clinics opened for SI sufferers. It is not something that is easy to accept, but anorexia and bulimia were equally reviled some five years ago.