Breadcrumbs:
[female, age 14, began to SI at age 11]
I did and I want to keep it up. Someday, when I'm engaged and my husband to be or boyfriend or whomever looks at me and sees the scars, I don't want to still be ashamed of myself. And you know, I started cutting to get away from the pressure, but then the cutting became a stress of it's own. How to hide it, how to get more band aids, how to not feel guilty constantly. I needed to stop. I wanted control of my life and I thought the cutting gave me that, when actually the cutting took control of me."

Comments
female age 16 began to SI at twelve
2 years () (Permalink)I stopped eventually, but I still have cravings for it. I don't think people realize that cutting is like a drug. I still bite the insides of my lip when I want to cut, just so I don't have to completely be cold turkey cause I was like that before and tried to kill myself and I was so out of control. I'm one of the people who SI's to punish themselves. I hate myself and I feel like I should just get on to myself for all the failures. I've been held to impossibly high standards all my life and never had a chance to be a kid. I feel so terribly guilty if I shirk other people's responsibilities they put off on me. I'm hopeless.
Comment Links:
Post new comment