[female, age 16, began to SI at age 12-13]

I almost always dissociate. I hardly feel anything, let alone pain, I stop being able to see the razor, or safety pin, or whatever. I stop breathing. My hearing goes out, everything sounds fuzzy. The only pain I feel is afterwards, and even then, it doesn't seem like its attached to me.

In Their Own Words Information

Person: 

[female, age 16, began to SI at age 12-13]

Fri, 2009-04-03 23:33 — Gabrielle

[female, age 17, began to SI at age 13]

It depends on how intense I'm feeling. Sometimes I will be so "out of it" that I can do virtually any kind of harm to myself and I wont feel it, and other times I will be upset and feel the need to cut, but can't make more than scratches because of the pain and anxiety. When I don't bleed as much as I need to to feel "normal" again, I get extremely frustrated and feel even more helpless than before. It's the single most worst feeling.

In Their Own Words Information

Person: 

[female, age 17, began to SI at age 13]

Fri, 2009-04-03 23:33 — Gabrielle

[female, age 16, began to SI at age 5 or 6]

Sometimes I feel it, but I have learned to look at it in a different way. I have taught my body to think that what I am feeling is not pain but something else, an incredible wonderful good feeling... it works.

In Their Own Words Information

Person: 

[female, age 16, began to SI at age 5 or 6]

Fri, 2009-04-03 23:33 — Gabrielle

[female, age 16, began to SI at age 15]

I feel a slight sting but that is it. I think i am dissociated because if i cut myself accidentally it hurts a lot...and and the cuts are usually smaller than the ones i do through SI. The cuts start to hurt afterwards [about an hour or two], but during i feel nothing except calm.

In Their Own Words Information

Person: 

[female, age 16, began to SI at age 15]

Fri, 2009-04-03 23:33 — Gabrielle

[female, age 38, began to SI at age 37]

Yes, I feel pain. I think that is the only reason I do not really injure myself so bad that I need medical help. I WANT to cut deeper but I'm afraid.

In Their Own Words Information

Person: 

[female, age 38, began to SI at age 37]

Fri, 2009-04-03 23:33 — Gabrielle

[female, age 18, began to SI at age 16]

No, its weird how if I get a cut then it hurts differently, as in more, than when I cut myself. If I ever feel any pain-ish sensation its more like a satisfactory feeling.

In Their Own Words Information

Person: 

[female, age 18, began to SI at age 16]

Fri, 2009-04-03 23:33 — Gabrielle

[female, age 19, began to SI at age 17]

Yeah i feel it. I always feel the pain unless i'm so angry that i lose control. But most of the time i feel it. A few times i have dissociated and not fully felt it, but i always come back within a minute. I dissociate a lot in other situations, though.

In Their Own Words Information

Person: 

[female, age 19, began to SI at age 17]

Fri, 2009-04-03 23:33 — Gabrielle

[female, age 24, began to SI at age 14]

I try not to feel it. It's a game to me not to flinch and to keep my breathing steady. It's like control and power. I felt the hanger- because I'm terrified of burning pain. So I had to do it again and again until I could hold it in my arm without flinching.

In Their Own Words Information

Person: 

[female, age 24, began to SI at age 14]

Fri, 2009-04-03 23:33 — Gabrielle

[male, age 18, began to SI at age 15]

I feel the emotional pain leave, and a numbed feeling, both physically and emotionally as the emotional pain leaves.

In Their Own Words Information

Person: 

[male, age 18, began to SI at age 15]

Fri, 2009-04-03 23:33 — Gabrielle

[female, age 16]

I do feel some pain, and it's not like the pain you get if you bang your head [,] etc - it's different and in a weird way it feels rewarding.

In Their Own Words Information

Person: 

[female, age 16]

Fri, 2009-04-03 23:33 — Gabrielle