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[female, age 20, began to SI at age 13 or so (cutting very recent), College student]
I do feel pain, and I generally don't feel satisfied until I've either felt sufficient pain or have produced enough blood. I've not been cutting for very long, and it took many tries before I was able to break the skin. Since then, I notice that each time, it seems to take more to satisfy me, and it also gets a little easier to push harder, to cut deeper. I have a tendency toward the excessive in whatever I do, so I frequently don't do just one deep cut. The very first time I ever cut, I made about eight slashmarks on the side of my thigh, which remain the most prominent scars I have. The more pain I feel, as horrifying as this is, the more proud of myself I feel.

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This is how I'm feeling right
3 months () (Permalink)This is how I'm feeling right now. Like, I'm not a 20-year-old but, I've been going through some tough time. I've called Teen-Line and they really helped me instead of cutting myself. The pain hurts but, it's so hard to resist. I've done it a couple of times.. I feel the sting when I play sports. Their kinda deep. I got sent to the hospital for this then came back to cutting again after 2 months. It's really hard.
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