Do You Have Any Rituals?

[female, age 17, began to SI at age 13]

I used to cut myself outside, in a secluded area, or in a room lit by candles. My favorite thing now is to be cut by someone else, but that doesn't always work out. I usually do it wherever's convenient and where I wont be interrupted.

Person: 
[female, age 17, began to SI at age 13]

[female, age 26, began to SI at age 14]

Yes. I always use matches. I have not self-injured before because i couldn't find any. I always burn the match and then blow it out and try to time when it will be the perfect "heat". I always burn myself on the same wrist and I have an ongoing pattern. I have made new patterns, burning in between old scars. I recently did it and burned on top of an old scar because I felt the untouched skin surrounding what I have was... out of the right area.

Person: 
[female, age 26, began to SI at age 14]

[female, age 19, began to SI at age 11]

I lock my bedroom door, get out my "cutting kit" which consists of all first-aid wraps, a tourniquet, razors, broken glass, a knife, two towels- one to wipe with and one to bleed on. The one I wipe with so I can see through the blood to keep cutting I wet first. I sit by my phone and in front of a mirror so I can watch myself. I find a spot amongst all my scars on my right arm (left-handed) and slap it on there!

Person: 
[female, age 19, began to SI at age 11]

[female, age 15, began to SI at age 12]

Least amount of food for two weeks, throw it all up the next week. Never cut the right arm because that's the one I use to cut myself an if I hurt myself I couldn't do it.

Person: 
[female, age 15, began to SI at age 12]

[female, age 24, began to SI at age 14]

In my room. Razors. Like to listen to Danzig. Watch it bleed until it is running down arm and off hand onto a towel. Wrap up in a towel. Let it dry. Wash it off. Go on with my day or go to sleep and watch it bleed into a towel beside me.

Person: 
[female, age 24, began to SI at age 14]

[female, age 14, began to SI at age 12]

Yeah, when I was in school, I'd take a pass to go to the bathroom, go to a special stall, cut, clean, flush the toilet, then go back to class like nothing happened.

Person: 
[female, age 14, began to SI at age 12]

[female, age 28, began to SI at age 13]

Not really. I like to do it at night, when my b-friend is not here. I like to do it by candle light, I don't know why, I guess the light helps me feel calm.

Person: 
[female, age 28, began to SI at age 13]

[female, age 23, began to SI at age 13]

I always use an x-acto, listen to depressing music, sometimes with candles and incense. I usually do it at the end of the day when my stuff is all done and I'm ready for some "me" time.

Person: 
[female, age 23, began to SI at age 13]

[female, age 18, began to SI at age 12]

Only that I usually have to run the blade across my skin like, five billion times before I actually cut. I think that frustrates me too- not being able to just do it and get it over with.

Person: 
[female, age 18, began to SI at age 12]

[female, age 16]

Everything[,] razors and dressings are all laid out in front of me and then I just work my way through until I've finished. I always do it at night and with a bright light on so that I can see what I've done to myself.

Person: 
[female, age 16]
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