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[female, age 14, began to SI at 10, jr. high student]
Before:
I feel the need to cut...it gnaws at me and destroys me from the inside out. I end up pacing and biting my lip, digging my fingernails into any soft area of skin. Finally I give in...
During:
I feel a flood of relief as the blade digs deep into my skin. The sight of my own blood comforts me in a way I never thought imaginable. I wince slightly at the pain, but mostly feel relieved.
After:
Generally I regret the new cut on my body that will soon scar over and remind me of my past, just like all the others. I do feel better about whatever made me cut in the first place, but I regret the cut itself.

Comments
I feel the exact same way.
1 year () (Permalink)I feel the exact same way.
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Before, during, after
1 year () (Permalink)Before I cut I feel like I just really want to do it and I keep thinking about it and I feel really tense. I can feel my heart beating but I try not to do it. When I am cutting I kind of feel like I am releasing stuff, and soon after I cut I feel really bad for doing it because I was trying hard not to..
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