One supervisor has never said anything about it...I think she just blew it off. The other one was really concerned and caring. My friends have all mostly been worried. Sometimes I feel now like I'm under scrutiny for telling them, like they should check my arms. But mostly they have all been really caring. I am very careful in who I tell, though, before anyone finds out. My therapist asked me to sign a no-harm contract and to call her, crisis care or a friend, when I felt that bad.
Well, if I tell someone who doesn't know already, I just act like it's no big deal and kind of make a joke out of it. They usually don't say much, they don't know WHAT to say.
Most people react by telling me how stupid I am, and telling me how bad it is for me, and asking, why don't I just stop?
Most of my friends were very supportive, being that I told only three of them. They said they had had an idea of what was going on, they were just waiting to hear me say it. My best friend promised she would always be there, and my other friend said I could call her to talk whenever I felt like cutting.
Everybody reacts differently. Its weird. There are some people that I can't handle the way they act as though they know what is right for me just because I have this "psychotic" behavior or something. You just learn to deal with what each person individually can handle.
They thought I was a little nuts, needed help, they were really worried. I dunno, it made me feel good that they cared, and I liked the attention but I didn't like that they were worried and upset and it pissed me off that they really wanted me to stop: like they were taking away the one thing that made me really happy.
She told me I shouldn't do it and she was worried about me. It made me feel even worse because I felt bad because she was worried about me.
Her mother said "Are you okay, maybe you should take to someone, what's wrong with you, obviously you don't respect yourself."
They freaked and made me promise not to do it again. I said yes just to make them feel better though. That settled everything for them. I felt hurt that they did not take me serious[ly] and get me help.
The first time my best friend found out was after the first time I cut. She had the look of disappointment on her face. After that, she told me to stop and would get angry at me; she didn't understand. Earlier this year she started cutting herself and then realized that everything I said was true. The others are shocked or appalled at the thought of me cutting, and a few have gotten scared when they notice just how wide some of my scars have gotten. What I hate the most is when a person takes my cutting as a form of me trying to find attention.
