The only person i told was my counsellor. and she was amazing about it, i actually cant get over it. She was so caring, and understanding she didnt judge me or looked shocked, she made me feel like i wasnt crazy for doing this, she treated me like normal and just tried to help and didnt pressure me to answer anything or show her, just checking that i was safe. And she also didnt tell me to stop, just to try to sometimes fight the urges. It was such a relief i was terrified of doing it. And i love her for how she reacted.