My girlfriend was very upset and threatened to start cutting herself if I didn't stop it. I gave her the knife and invited her to do it if she was serious. She didn't cut herself. She then understood that it was not something that I had started doing for the sheer hell of it, I was doing it because I was unwell. I was so unwell when I told my relatives that I can't remember their reactions.
The counselors acted as counsleors would which made me feel like a statistic. My friends convinced me that they had bigger problems which made me feel like an idiot. When my Dad found out he didn't believe me and thought I was cutting myself for attention, I still don't know how I feel about that. Part of me thinks he might be right, the other part of me wants to smack him and tell him to get a clue.
My dad is a major trigger for my anger because he's a workahlolic ass and puts me down about it. My mom is my main help source. She's great and I love her very much for it. My sister kinda blows it off as a phase because she went through it as well although not as long. My little brother doesn't really understand since my parents haven't explained it to him. My friends are a built in support group and they understand what I'm thinking during those times.
When i told my sister, she cried and i felt really bad about it all. I felt stupid for doing this and i felt realy bad that she had to deal with me. My mom didnt take it so well...I dont think she knew how to react, she seemed mad and sad and yea...she gave me a really hard time about it, and she asked me all kinds of questions and comments that REALLY hurt me, but i dont really hold that against her since she didnt know how to react. My stepdad didnt really say much (which is a good thing, because he knows i dont care too much for his opinions.) My mom went and told some therapist and she looked at my cuts and told me how "serious" it was, and i felt really stupid having to sit in front of her and explain everything. i was very frustrated because no one seemed to understand. But when i was hospitalized, i met tons of teens who SI-ed and understood what i was going through and talking about. I felt so much better knowing that someone knew what i was going through and understood me.
many of them reply with "i dont know what to say..." and i always found thats the answer i like best. it always just made me feel worse when the person tried to sympathize or understand what was going on. it just made me feel like a freak.\n\nWhen i approached my mother with the deep cuts on my arm, she was just stunned at first. Then over the next many many hours at the hospital she was crying a lot and hugging me and telling me she loved me. Over the next week she tried to have many conversations with me, asking me what she could do, or what she had done. I felt absolutely horrible. I felt like the most ungrateful, selfish, stupid brat ever. I felt as if i was the worst human on Earth for having put my Mom through this.
he one in my class asked a lot of questions, and I told him I wasn't ready to answer them yet, but in reality I feel a bit hurt, like he knows to much and is being nosy. I regret telling him and now I avoid him. My bandmate was great. He talked about the others in the band, said how hard it was for the guy to quit, and that I should try not to do it as much. But he was very supportive and nice, and it felt like a huge relief. My boyfriend never mentions it ever. He probably has no idea how to handle it, and I think it makes him scared.
My name is Gabrielle and I am twenty-eight years old. I began to self-injure at age fifteen -- so nearly thirteen years minus a two year period. This website is one about self-injury (self-harm), made to let self-injurers know that they are not alone and to help their friends and family learn more about self-injury and how it affects their loved one.