[female, age 14, began to SI at 10, jr. high student]

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 Before:

I feel the need to cut…it gnaws at me and destroys me from the inside out.  I end up pacing and biting my lip, digging my fingernails into any soft area of skin. Finally I give in…

 During:

I feel a flood of relief as the blade digs deep into my skin.  The sight of my own blood comforts me in a way I never thought imaginable.  I wince slightly at the pain, but mostly feel relieved. 

 After:

Generally I regret the new cut on my body that will soon scar over and remind me of my past, just like all the others.  I do feel better about whatever made me cut in the first place, but I regret the cut itself. 

Person
[female, age 14, began to SI at 10, Jr. high student]
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2 Comments

Liz's picture

Before I cut I feel like I just really want to do it and I keep thinking about it and I feel really tense. I can feel my heart beating but I try not to do it. When I am cutting I kind of feel like I am releasing stuff, and soon after I cut I feel really bad for doing it because I was trying hard not to..

   

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