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[female, age 14, began to SI at 10, jr. high student]

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Before:

I feel the need to cut...it gnaws at me and destroys me from the inside out.  I end up pacing and biting my lip, digging my fingernails into any soft area of skin. Finally I give in...

During:

I feel a flood of relief as the blade digs deep into my skin.  The sight of my own blood comforts me in a way I never thought imaginable.  I wince slightly at the pain, but mostly feel relieved. 

After:

Generally I regret the new cut on my body that will soon scar over and remind me of my past, just like all the others.  I do feel better about whatever made me cut in the first place, but I regret the cut itself. 

In Their Own Words Information
Person: 
[female, age 14, began to SI at 10, Jr. high student]

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The Author

BrokenDreams [female, age 14, began to SI at 10, jr. high student] in For Self-Injurers - In Their Own Words published by 3 years ago ()

2 comments... read them below or add one

Comments

ginger sludge

I feel the exact same way.

2 years () (Permalink)

I feel the exact same way.

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Liz

Before, during, after

2 years () (Permalink)

Before I cut I feel like I just really want to do it and I keep thinking about it and I feel really tense. I can feel my heart beating but I try not to do it. When I am cutting I kind of feel like I am releasing stuff, and soon after I cut I feel really bad for doing it because I was trying hard not to..

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