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[female, age 20, began to SI at age 13 or so (cutting very recent), College student]

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Before I can feel anywhere from depressed to euphoric, though immediately before I usually feel depressed, near collapse, but restless at the same time, a boiling feeling that I need to get something out of my system, and I need to cut, the same kind of craving I'd get for a cigarette. During I am very deliberate, and become more calm as I proceed. If I feel any intense pain or draw a lot of blood, I feel very good, relieved, and proud of myself, in control. After, I feel satisfied, but at the same time ashamed. Frequently when I'm done I get online and look at sites about cutting, and feel torn about what I'm doing, but it's not as though it ever breaks the cycle.

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[female, age 20, began to SI at age 13 or so (cutting very recent), College student]
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Gabrielle For Self-Injurers - In Their Own Words published by 2 years ago ()

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