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[female, age 16, began to SI at age 11]
There's lots of reasons. It gives me control, and when I cut I feel like because I can handle that pain, I can handle my emotional pain. I feel like I need a reason or an excuse to feel the emotional pain that I do, and having scars I gave myself gives me a reason for my irrational depression. I like the way it feels, when the razor slices open my skin... and I just have this irrational desire to see my own blood.

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agreed, wow
1 year () (Permalink)this is exactly the same as me. my boyfriend knows i SI and this is how ive explained it and he has trouble getting it sometimes because he sees cutting as something people do as a forerunner to suicide.
and i know what you mean about the desire to see your own blood...i miss my razor, my boyfriend threw it away. i know he had the best intentions, but it leaves less scarring and is more satisfying at the time...
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wow
2 years () (Permalink)omg, I must say I got a bit shocked reading this. We're exactly the same! I just wanted to let you know that I'm just like you. Almost creepy, but it feels nice to know that I'm not alone =) It just makes me feel strong when I can cope with the pain of cutting myself, and also I like having the scars to blame for my emotional pain. Thank you for sharing!
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