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[female, age 17, began to SI at age 13]

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When I'm put in a situation where I'd want to scream, but can't because of where I'm at and the people I'm around, hurting myself releases the tension in the same way as screaming or hurting others would, except it's quieter and less noticeable. If something upsets me at school, for instance, I can cut my wrist or dig my fingernails into my hand without anyone knowing what I'm doing or how I'm feeling. I also like the scars. They remind me of what I've been through, all of the emotions and mistakes I've made. It's like "wearing a journal." However, probably the biggest reason I SI is because I hate my "external" self. I'm content with who I am on the inside, but I feel like my body's this big, ugly mask, hiding who I really am, and keeping others from wanting to get to know me. I hate myself with a passion, and I feel disconnected in a way, like there are two separate parts of me. I often want to destroy my body... to mutilate it in any way that I can.

In Their Own Words Information
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[female, age 17, began to SI at age 13]
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Gabrielle For Self-Injurers - In Their Own Words published by 2 years ago ()

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Anonymous

[Female, age 14, began to SI at age 11]

2 years () (Permalink)

I think that when I cut myself, my mind is forced to focus on the exterior pain rather than the anger and frustration I feel inside. I guess when I SI it helps me forget about everything else in the world at that moment except the pain. Its like someone is squeezing my lungs tight and as soon as I feel something cutting me open, I can breathe again and the pressure goes away.

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