Breadcrumbs:

[female, age 19, began to SI at age 17]

Printer-friendly versionPrinter-friendly version

To distract myself from what i'm thinking or what i'm feeling or remembering, whatever. Sometimes to make myself dissociate (yes I know what that word means), and sometimes to make myself come back to reality. Sometimes i do it to punish myself for sins (i'm not real religious but i believe in God and i hate myself when i do major stuff like if i fantasized about some guy i liked or watched a sex scene in a movie). Sometimes, especially when i first started SI, it was to show people how much I was hurting inside, so they would help me, make me feel better. Sometimes I use it to even out my moods (I'm not bipolar, but every once in a while i do get a little bit manic- but more often i'm depressed). I don't use it for that terribly often. a lot of times when i cut, i feel like whatever sin or badness that was in me is leaking out through the cut i made, like the blood washes it out of me and i'm clean(er) again. But the main reason is that it makes me numb. I don't really feel too much emotion for a while after cutting (except sad but i can deal with that- i just can't deal with fear or frustration, those types of emotions)

In Their Own Words Information
Person: 
[female, age 19, began to SI at age 17]
The Author

Gabrielle For Self-Injurers - In Their Own Words published by 3 years ago ()

Comments

Anonymous (not verified)

living diary

I've always hated keeping a diary because I'm afraid someone might read it. When I cut I write words, symbols, or phrases that kinda mark certain points in my life. I started because the emotional pain was too much and physical pain helped me to forget it. Now, I'm just a morbid tattoo artist, using a blade and blood to create my art.

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • HTML tags will be transformed to conform to HTML standards.
  • Each email address will be obfuscated in a human readable fashion or (if JavaScript is enabled) replaced with a spamproof clickable link.

More information about formatting options

Notifications
Type the characters you see in this picture. (verify using audio)
Type the characters you see in the picture above; if you can't read them, submit the form and a new image will be generated. Not case sensitive.