my self-injuring came late in life. i didn't start til i was an adult. i currently live at home with my parents to help take care of them. they are both in their late 40's, but have major health problems. since i was born, my mom has been in and out of hospitals with various problems, so they became part of my life. i had to grow up really quick because of it. i feel as though part of my childhood was took away. i dont hate her for it at all. my parents have had money problems and lately its gotten worse. to the point of us having to move into a less nicer house and other people helping us with food. because my dad has a major disease in his back, he cant work for very much longer. he is our only source of income. i self-injure because i bottle all my emotions inside and never let them out. to me this is a way to do that without letting others know my feelings.the rush of seeing the blood or the cut start to show up makes me feel happy. kinda like a rush. i always feel bad about it later when i am changing or showering. i feel like the scars are my battle wounds. cause i'm always battling with my own emotions and pain.