I use to cut&scratch the inside of both my forearms,and have deep white scars to prove it. i have beautiful dark scars of a hearr and cross that i redo ever december bc by the time its warm enough to not wear pants its healed. on my left hip i have a scar that says lovehate (hate is backwards) from a failed athome tattoo that i redo to darken constantly. currently i cut my right hip. its the only place that is comletely covered bc i constanly wear shortsleeved shirts an shortshort, and bikinis. its frustrating at how fast i lose space to cut and my impatience for the cuts to heal so i can cut more geta worse everytime i get the urge to cut
i cut on the insides of my ankles becasue i normally wear jeans or trackie bottoms so its easy to hide as the trousers and socks cover them, but then when i run out of room there i do on the tops of my legs because again its well hidden. its not the most painful place to cut and it doesnt bleed as much as other places its just easier to hide.
i havent told friends or anyone about it cuz they all think that self harmers just do it for attention but im not, why would anyone hurt themselves like this for attention? i do it because i cant deal with the emotional pain, physical pain is more real and a lot easier to cope with, its a way of control i guess.
I always do it on my ankles. It doesn't go very deep and there's not really an artery or anything, so it's safe, and it takes awhile to actually get a good blood flow going. But once you do, you can make it last awhile. And the scars are usually pretty.
Nobody notices because in Michigan the majority of the time it's too cold to wear anything less than something that requires tennis shoes...or I'm wearing tennis shoes anyways because of the activities I do.
The first time I did it I carved a jagged heart that looks a bit like an arrowhead into my ankle. Now I'm trying to decide on a different symbol...I'm thinking maybe words -- the latin phrase "delecto est permitto" (to love is to suffer) or "delecto est morior" (to love is to die). Maybe the anarchy symbol/circle-A, or the heartogram...
I'm still thinking 'to love is to suffer'...I need to decide soon...
I used to cut under my watch strap to the point that theres nothing but scar tissue under it and my fingers have become numb, I've reciently began to cut my legs.
I cut on my forearms. Unfortunately, that is quite an obvious place, and I get a lot of reaction out of that. I usually wear long sleeves to hide the scars, but living in the Tampa Bay area, that is kind of hard in the summer. I have tried other locations, but honestly I can't get the same release. I agree with a couple of other posts. I hope that in time each of you will stop and the scars will fade. There are solutions out there for most of you. Whether it's medication, alternative therapy, whatever. I truly hope you find those answers.
Then there are those like me. There is no solution. I have been on so many meds I have lost count. My pdoc finally told me that since I have been doing it so long, and nothing has worked, I will do it the rest of my life. When I find the right place here, I want to post a list of don'ts. There are things that I do that I try to help others not to do, so they don't end up like me. Most of you are young enough to change your thought processes, and in time will move past this part of your life.
Some doctors call s/i a phase. Yes, for some it may be. But if you are here, it probably isn't. It's a fact and way of life. It is a part of you. Most of you have plenty of friends and family that love you. No matter what you do behind closed doors, remember that they will continue to love you. You are not an outcast or an oddity. You are not a freak. You are just you, and that is someone to be proud of.
Together, we will get through all this. We are here for each other. We understand each other. We are not ALONE.
—
Rob
I sit here in the cold , lonely dark. Scared..I am all alone. Everything, everyone I've loved, turned away...now gone.
What if you really mean it? After so much cutting and so much physical damage resulting in nothing, so much emotional pain, when you've cut enough that its not cutting it...pardon the pun, when or how long before you finish the job???
My first SI was when I ripped the superphisial layers of the skin on my lower lip, creating bleeding wounds and scratches. I believe I started this at about age 11 or 12. When that no longer worked (didn't hurt anymore as I got resistant to the pain, still do it though) I started banging my head against walls when I was upset, and hitting myself on arms and legs.
I started cutting my lower arms at age 15, and when I got out of room I simply moved upwards. But it was horrible to hide in the summers so I got to my lower legs instead. That's where I've got the most and widest scars, but I do have some hair covering it at least a bit, and they are all pale now. Then I moved to my thighs as I thought they would be even easier to hide, and because I hated the way my thighs looked, so it was also I way of showing them the respect I thought they deserved, so to say.
Then I stopped, for a long time, almost two-three years, I think. A few times a got back to my legs during that period, but I still see it as a non-SI-time of my life. Starting of this year I went back to SI-ing, and this time targeting my chest, cause I never show my chest to anyone anyways, too unhappy with it.
I started to scratch/cut my lower legs,then I started scratching my wrists,then using a sharp razor went to my lower arms,last night it stopped being scratches.
I burn my stomach with matches, I used to just barely touch myself with the match, but now I just drop them on and wait for them to burn out. Sometimes I do my nipples too, so painful.
I started cutting on my forearm, it was more just a test to see what cutting was like, and what it would do for my pain. Those first few cuts were easily explainable because I have always been a clutz, so no one asked, or was suspicious of them. I then started cutting on my thighs and my somache becuase those were the easiest to hide. I know have hundreds of cuts with only a few fading...
i used to cut myself and i havent for 2months this weekend. i had over 60 scars on my body but as time went on they began to fade, i hope urs fade as well. i also hope u can stop the si. i know it might me hard but it is possible...for everybody. i wish u the best.
i do it on my upper thighs because its easy to hide i want to do it on my arms but i can't risk someone seeing it i live in a very small village where there are no such things as secrets, you know what they say "three can keep a secret if two are dead".
Ive only cut 4 times in my life and unlike anyone else Ive ever heard of, I started when I was extremely old, 24. The first time I was really drunk and taking a shower and i accidentally sliced my calf while shaving. It was huge and just kept bleeding so after i got out of the shower I sliced up both inner arms, wrist to elbow, cuts all over the place. I thought Id never do it again. i felt stupid when it got warmer and my scars cuts werent fully healed and I was always hiding. The second time i did both my arms again this time in the bathtub cuz before i got it everywhere, bed, wall, i even painted with it...literally. So i did it the same amout as the first time but way deeper. Drunk again. Then I had to deal with trying to find a job in the summer wearing long sleeves and looking stupid and sweaty...And I had to tell my mom cuz she was gna see the cuts when I came home to visit. I told her about it and said it wasnt gonna happen again.
Then I moved to the ankles. I was now living with my mom and i was basically on suicide watch anyway...a cut somewhere noticiable would get me a bunch of drama that I wanted to avoid. So I set a maroon towel on the floor, took out the individual razors in my shaving razor and carved LESS into my left ankle. The long parts of the L and the E went REALLLLY deep. It wouldnt stop bleeding. I finished cleaning everything up that nite and realized that I would need to secretly get some big bandages and such...the LESS is about 4 inches wide and an inch and a half tall. I had to wear 4 socks because it was bleeding and would start bleeding out of nowhere...it still soaked thru those socks.
The next nite i finished the other part of what i sought out to do--and carved LOVE on my other ankle which was harder cuz im right handed and it was my right ankle, it was still as big but a diff style. It was a ritual to secretly tend to my wounds too...change bloody bandages, socks, put on neosporin, hide the bloody socks and sneak em in with the laundry (the socks were dark colored). So now I have huge noticible LOVE LESS scars carved into my ankles. I work as a lifeguard and have to hide it cuz ppl would be mortified. I wear ankle braces on both ankles and claim its for ankle support. It looks stupid but not as stupid as ppl and their children horrified by words carved into my ankles...i cant make an excuse for that since it is really damn clear that i did it.
I would take pics of the cuts and the process and the healing and the scars and send them to my best friend who has very severe cuts mostly from suicide attempts...i think that meeting her may have triggered the idea to cut in my head...not like i didnt know it existed lol.
Sometimes I wana cut but because of my job Im left with basically only my stomach to cut which i think im going to start doing because its disgusting and covered in stretch marks anyway and i wana slice the fat out.
When I do it it doesnt hurt at all...it stings and burns after when its healing. Its like a self made tattoo of how fucked up I am. A branding of what I feel and know...
My dad died when i was 11 and it left me and my whole family devastated, especially my mum. I cut my left wrist at first, this was the first but not the last time. Eventually mum moved on and i didnt get along with her bf, i started cutin my right thigh, day after day. I ended up with so many cuts it upset me even more then i started cutin my hip. Im 18 now and there is no evidenc apart frm a few scars on my lower arm and wrist. I managd to stop self harming for about a year and then 2days ago i relapsd and now cutin my right wrist. I cover it up with bracelets
it used to be my legs...i'd hit my calves with something. then people would ask what happened, so then, it was my upper thighs...now it's mainly my stomach/hips. and then sometimes i'll slam my hand into a wall and it's my hand/wrist. one time i beat my hips so bad with a tennis racquet that i thought i broke a bone, the bruise the next day was horrible and there was a piece that jutted out. i get so mad after i do it. but i can't help myself.
It's easier to hide on the inside of your upper arms, because mostly you have your arms by your sides and its hidden, even if you're wearing a strappy vest top that exposes your arms. That's where I do most of my cutting. <3
I believe it all started shortly after I entered highschool or shortly before. I met someone in middle school who injured because her boyfriend in high school did it. I always rolled my eyes in secret but in public I pretended to be interested in her and what she did to her face. To friends other than, I was cruel and even made fun... Then it started with a mark on my wrist. Three actually. I told everyone it was a cat and I made them look just like a cat. I actually had my cats paw up and pushed her claws out to make it more strategically placed. Then it was constantly on my left wrist and thankfully arm warmers and sweat bands were in at the time. Eventually the wrist was too easily noticed even with sleeves and arm warmers. I got older, moved out, and went to college and then the trouble began. I started at the top of my shoulder and ran down to my left wrist on both sides of my arm making sure there was no space left. only cuts, some deep, some not so deep, as long as there was constant blood. I'd make hundreds--literally hundreds at at time and each had to pool blood or I'd reopen or recut. Then I'd go to my thighs and cover them completely. Sometimes writing words. And if I still had energy, I'd go to my feet and carve on the bottom because I had tattoos on the top. I would make hundreds upon hundreds of marks, set in the shower, and cry. I broke upon those razors with multi blades and eventually realized dollar tree and dollar stores sell razor refills with two sharp sides in a 10 pack for $1 so I'd buy a cheap razor and a few packs so as to not alarm the clerk and it was only $1 for each item. I could get $5 worth of blades and make 100 blades or more if I broke them. I knew that you can donate a pint or two of blood so I never worried about how much I bled. It takes about 2 pints to start causes damage and typically they dont do tranfusions until you reach 2-3 pints empty. All of this but I've been cut free for nearly 6 months, and before that, it was 9 month, then before that 14. Perhaps I'm progressing towards a major relapse, but for 4 years it was constant. I am almost 22 now. Times are changing. I'm in university. I try to be more careful and find better things. Like alcohol since I'm old enough. Usually only once a month or two. But I did it everywhere when I cut and it was messy.... hence the shower setting. Oh and I had anywhere from 6-10 friends who did this too and we all thought it was just... a great release.. a feeling of control. So long as we controlled the pressure, the pain, the place, the amount of blood, the feelings, the crying, how we hurt.... as long as we were in control was all that mattered because our parents would never understand. Then it just became a habit...
my thighs. It gets the job done and is easy to hide, but I'd much rather prefer to do it on the side of my left wrist (am right handed). I rarely do it there anymore unless I am really upset (not to say I'm not when cutting my thighs...). I've done it on my right ankle, lower left arm, front of my left calf, hips, left of rib cage, and ocassionally my right thigh. I have so many less scars on my left compared to my right.
I feel like I cut everywhere. Mostly I cut my right hip and thigh and stomach but I started on my left wrist and then moved to my left shoulder but wrist is too obvious and shoulder doesn't hurt enough. I also cut my hands - webs of fingers, side of hand, upper pad of fingers ect - because they are so easy to explain away and when I am upset they are easiest to re-open and the little blood and pain from a finger can calm me better than just scratching the longer, deeper cuts on my thigh through my jeans. I have also cut my feet, lower legs, and upper arm but not very much. Despite years of not cutting my arm, I still feel 'called' to my lower arm when I have urges. No where else is as satisfying for me.
I use hair-layering scissors (I have a problem with razors and stuff, I need something rigid) and I cut along my calves. It's sorta easy to hide and if anyone sees I just say that I accidentally walked through a prickle bush or something.
For me, my upper legs are the most accessible place and the easiest palce to hide. I don't wear short shorts, and if I wear a skirt, I have leggings on underneath, so they can never be seen by anyone else other than myself.
I first used to cut on my lower arm because thats where i laways known and seen people cut. Then i moved to my upper thighs. that was my favorite spot because i never wore skirts or shorts so it was so easy to hide.
I self injure almost everywhere but my favorite areas are my legs and feet. Really easy to hide because I wear long pants and long socks. Sadly I've also got a bad talent of making any of my self injury marks look accidental so I rarely ever get asked "what happened?".
Everywhere but my dick. Most common being every part of either arm down to the wrist,my chest,and my face. I have a twisted,disfiguring set of scars from my first suicide attempt: A ropy,twisting,thick length of white scar tissue going from the right corner of my mouth to my ear,and a twin set of thick,pale scars going down each arm,centimeteres from the veins. I've been told my face always seems to have a hysterical,demented smile no matter what my expression because of this.
I started with just my wrists, but after leaving 3 dark scars on my left wrist, I tried other places. The worst of it is across my chest. It goes from around my heart to my waist. There are now three unmistakable scars running down my chest, and I hate them. I felt like my heart was torn apart, and cutting around it was the best way for me to materialize that pain, to see it on the outside- and now I wear the scars on my chest. Hidden from most, but inconvenient enough. I still burn my arms though.
I'm deffinetly not one of the extreme cutters that's for sure but I do. I started off with my ankles and hid it with my socks. I knew it would hurt my parents to find out so one night in an argument I laid into them about alot of things and then screamed it in their faces. My mom bawled and told me if I did it again she'd take me to a specialist. So I stopped cutting on my ankles and moved to my upper thighs so they wouldn't know about it. I don't cut all that often but when my heart gets broken or I'm ovewhelmed or whatever I do. I have fairly big thighs so there's alot of areas to cut. The other day though I wanted to cut my wrist just to see what it would feel like but I knew my mom would be able to figure out if it was a knife or razor so I took the plastic covering off the end of one of my bobby pins and scratched a four inch long diaganol scratch on my forearm/wrist. Anyone that asks how I got it I just tell them it was my cat and it honestly does look like a cat scratch but I want ti do mire than one on my wrist so badly!!!!!! But I wouldn't be able to hide it for very long at all.
Started on my lower legs, then I did my lower arms, then my parents found out so I did it on my right thigh. Then the day before yesterday I did my lower arms again. I'm going to have to wear wrist bands and long sleeves now, but it was worth it.
I used to cut on my left forearm but I had many close calls where I almost got caught. Another big fear was the doctors. And it's winter
now, but I love swimming so it would be hard to hide in the summer. So I moved to my breasts where it would be covered by my bra. It's pretty sensitive so it's good. I still much prefer my arms, but it's just too risky.
it depends. ill do it where evers available. currently, its on my right hip. but since i dont ahve anything to do it with anymore bc my boyfriend took them from me, ive been using dull scisssors. -.- very annoying. i have a lot of scar tissue on my left wrist. its about an inch long. i may have tougher skin there, but you dont actually see any scars. except one and even then, its really really faint. out of all the cutting ive done, all 3 years, i only have 4 scars. -.- oh well. its both a blessing and a curse. i cant do it on my upper thighs bc i have to wear a skirt to school and i dont "sit like a lady". ive done my shoulders, back, stomach, feet, hands, neck face, all over my arms. if i scarred, i would be one giant thing of scars. but i dont which is both happy making and sad making.
My first cut was on my lower left arm it was so deep I was almost hospitalized. After that I have never cut on my arms again. My first cut was my last for a while but I never ever forgot the relief it gave me. Recently I've started again first I thought I should just do one or two above my right knee to see if I could get that relief again. But once you start it's so hard to stop as I would think many of you know. I hate myself for concentrating all the cuts on my right thigh because now it starts from my knee and goes all the way up almost to my hip with each cut almost touching each other. Sometimes I only do 10 cuts other times I do over 30 in one sitting. Now they get deeper each time. I have no plans to stop but I'm worried what is going to happen. I've already gotten a few suspicions from peers because you can see it through the stockings of my school uniform. I'm not even going to think about getting a physical or wearing a swimsuit for as long as I can.....
I started off on my wrists but after mum finding the blades I had to switch coz it was harder to hide, & people at school kept seeing. So for the past few years I've been cutting my thighs. No one can see it. & I burn my hands with matches from time to time or whack my head off stuff. Both easily explained & hidden same with my chest near the bottom where my ribs end. But when things are extremely bad I go everywhere
—
.All the little pieces falling shatter. Shards of me too sharp to put back together. Too small to matter but big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
I will do it almost anywhere. But lately I have been doing it mostly on my calves and palm. A little on my upper arm. I used to do it always on my hips but I ran out of skin so I had to move places. The sucky thing is I'm a dancer and only wear tights (which are a little see through so the cuts are very noticable) and a leotard. Another thing is that I have a doctors appt. for a yearly check up and the cuts are very deep and new and big and VERY unexplanable. I can't let anyone find out because I think my mom is getting a little suicidal with all the stress in her life and I am almost positive she will kill herself if she ever found out, especially now. I'm so lost and I don't know what to do anymore.
hey im right there with you on the cutting i do it occasionally but deeply and on my left arm. people say things like stop but they dont know what its like so dont worry try your arm. theres more room and its easier to be explained.
hope this helped!
- Someone who know what its like
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I use to cut&scratch the inside of both my forearms,and have deep white scars to prove it. i have beautiful dark scars of a hearr and cross that i redo ever december bc by the time its warm enough to not wear pants its healed. on my left hip i have a scar that says lovehate (hate is backwards) from a failed athome tattoo that i redo to darken constantly. currently i cut my right hip. its the only place that is comletely covered bc i constanly wear shortsleeved shirts an shortshort, and bikinis. its frustrating at how fast i lose space to cut and my impatience for the cuts to heal so i can cut more geta worse everytime i get the urge to cut
where and why
i cut on the insides of my ankles becasue i normally wear jeans or trackie bottoms so its easy to hide as the trousers and socks cover them, but then when i run out of room there i do on the tops of my legs because again its well hidden. its not the most painful place to cut and it doesnt bleed as much as other places its just easier to hide.
i havent told friends or anyone about it cuz they all think that self harmers just do it for attention but im not, why would anyone hurt themselves like this for attention? i do it because i cant deal with the emotional pain, physical pain is more real and a lot easier to cope with, its a way of control i guess.
Only.
I always do it on my ankles. It doesn't go very deep and there's not really an artery or anything, so it's safe, and it takes awhile to actually get a good blood flow going. But once you do, you can make it last awhile. And the scars are usually pretty.
Nobody notices because in Michigan the majority of the time it's too cold to wear anything less than something that requires tennis shoes...or I'm wearing tennis shoes anyways because of the activities I do.
The first time I did it I carved a jagged heart that looks a bit like an arrowhead into my ankle. Now I'm trying to decide on a different symbol...I'm thinking maybe words -- the latin phrase "delecto est permitto" (to love is to suffer) or "delecto est morior" (to love is to die). Maybe the anarchy symbol/circle-A, or the heartogram...
I'm still thinking 'to love is to suffer'...I need to decide soon...
Where i cut
I used to cut under my watch strap to the point that theres nothing but scar tissue under it and my fingers have become numb, I've reciently began to cut my legs.
Where and Why
I cut on my forearms. Unfortunately, that is quite an obvious place, and I get a lot of reaction out of that. I usually wear long sleeves to hide the scars, but living in the Tampa Bay area, that is kind of hard in the summer. I have tried other locations, but honestly I can't get the same release. I agree with a couple of other posts. I hope that in time each of you will stop and the scars will fade. There are solutions out there for most of you. Whether it's medication, alternative therapy, whatever. I truly hope you find those answers.
Then there are those like me. There is no solution. I have been on so many meds I have lost count. My pdoc finally told me that since I have been doing it so long, and nothing has worked, I will do it the rest of my life. When I find the right place here, I want to post a list of don'ts. There are things that I do that I try to help others not to do, so they don't end up like me. Most of you are young enough to change your thought processes, and in time will move past this part of your life.
Some doctors call s/i a phase. Yes, for some it may be. But if you are here, it probably isn't. It's a fact and way of life. It is a part of you. Most of you have plenty of friends and family that love you. No matter what you do behind closed doors, remember that they will continue to love you. You are not an outcast or an oddity. You are not a freak. You are just you, and that is someone to be proud of.
Together, we will get through all this. We are here for each other. We understand each other. We are not ALONE.
Rob
I sit here in the cold , lonely dark. Scared..I am all alone. Everything, everyone I've loved, turned away...now gone.
me too
What if you really mean it? After so much cutting and so much physical damage resulting in nothing, so much emotional pain, when you've cut enough that its not cutting it...pardon the pun, when or how long before you finish the job???
Mostly chest now
My first SI was when I ripped the superphisial layers of the skin on my lower lip, creating bleeding wounds and scratches. I believe I started this at about age 11 or 12. When that no longer worked (didn't hurt anymore as I got resistant to the pain, still do it though) I started banging my head against walls when I was upset, and hitting myself on arms and legs.
I started cutting my lower arms at age 15, and when I got out of room I simply moved upwards. But it was horrible to hide in the summers so I got to my lower legs instead. That's where I've got the most and widest scars, but I do have some hair covering it at least a bit, and they are all pale now. Then I moved to my thighs as I thought they would be even easier to hide, and because I hated the way my thighs looked, so it was also I way of showing them the respect I thought they deserved, so to say.
Then I stopped, for a long time, almost two-three years, I think. A few times a got back to my legs during that period, but I still see it as a non-SI-time of my life. Starting of this year I went back to SI-ing, and this time targeting my chest, cause I never show my chest to anyone anyways, too unhappy with it.
(play in reverse)
I started to scratch/cut my
I started to scratch/cut my lower legs,then I started scratching my wrists,then using a sharp razor went to my lower arms,last night it stopped being scratches.
Stomach
I burn my stomach with matches, I used to just barely touch myself with the match, but now I just drop them on and wait for them to burn out. Sometimes I do my nipples too, so painful.
I cut...
I started cutting on my forearm, it was more just a test to see what cutting was like, and what it would do for my pain. Those first few cuts were easily explainable because I have always been a clutz, so no one asked, or was suspicious of them. I then started cutting on my thighs and my somache becuase those were the easiest to hide. I know have hundreds of cuts with only a few fading...
wish for the best
i used to cut myself and i havent for 2months this weekend. i had over 60 scars on my body but as time went on they began to fade, i hope urs fade as well. i also hope u can stop the si. i know it might me hard but it is possible...for everybody. i wish u the best.
peace and love sent to u :-)
Upper Thighs
i do it on my upper thighs because its easy to hide i want to do it on my arms but i can't risk someone seeing it i live in a very small village where there are no such things as secrets, you know what they say "three can keep a secret if two are dead".
same here.
I have wanted to cut on my arms, but I can't risk that. My outer thigh is the best place to hide.
LOVELESS ANKLES....
Ive only cut 4 times in my life and unlike anyone else Ive ever heard of, I started when I was extremely old, 24. The first time I was really drunk and taking a shower and i accidentally sliced my calf while shaving. It was huge and just kept bleeding so after i got out of the shower I sliced up both inner arms, wrist to elbow, cuts all over the place. I thought Id never do it again. i felt stupid when it got warmer and my scars cuts werent fully healed and I was always hiding. The second time i did both my arms again this time in the bathtub cuz before i got it everywhere, bed, wall, i even painted with it...literally. So i did it the same amout as the first time but way deeper. Drunk again. Then I had to deal with trying to find a job in the summer wearing long sleeves and looking stupid and sweaty...And I had to tell my mom cuz she was gna see the cuts when I came home to visit. I told her about it and said it wasnt gonna happen again.
Then I moved to the ankles. I was now living with my mom and i was basically on suicide watch anyway...a cut somewhere noticiable would get me a bunch of drama that I wanted to avoid. So I set a maroon towel on the floor, took out the individual razors in my shaving razor and carved LESS into my left ankle. The long parts of the L and the E went REALLLLY deep. It wouldnt stop bleeding. I finished cleaning everything up that nite and realized that I would need to secretly get some big bandages and such...the LESS is about 4 inches wide and an inch and a half tall. I had to wear 4 socks because it was bleeding and would start bleeding out of nowhere...it still soaked thru those socks.
The next nite i finished the other part of what i sought out to do--and carved LOVE on my other ankle which was harder cuz im right handed and it was my right ankle, it was still as big but a diff style. It was a ritual to secretly tend to my wounds too...change bloody bandages, socks, put on neosporin, hide the bloody socks and sneak em in with the laundry (the socks were dark colored). So now I have huge noticible LOVE LESS scars carved into my ankles. I work as a lifeguard and have to hide it cuz ppl would be mortified. I wear ankle braces on both ankles and claim its for ankle support. It looks stupid but not as stupid as ppl and their children horrified by words carved into my ankles...i cant make an excuse for that since it is really damn clear that i did it.
I would take pics of the cuts and the process and the healing and the scars and send them to my best friend who has very severe cuts mostly from suicide attempts...i think that meeting her may have triggered the idea to cut in my head...not like i didnt know it existed lol.
Sometimes I wana cut but because of my job Im left with basically only my stomach to cut which i think im going to start doing because its disgusting and covered in stretch marks anyway and i wana slice the fat out.
When I do it it doesnt hurt at all...it stings and burns after when its healing. Its like a self made tattoo of how fucked up I am. A branding of what I feel and know...
Right wrist
My dad died when i was 11 and it left me and my whole family devastated, especially my mum. I cut my left wrist at first, this was the first but not the last time. Eventually mum moved on and i didnt get along with her bf, i started cutin my right thigh, day after day. I ended up with so many cuts it upset me even more then i started cutin my hip. Im 18 now and there is no evidenc apart frm a few scars on my lower arm and wrist. I managd to stop self harming for about a year and then 2days ago i relapsd and now cutin my right wrist. I cover it up with bracelets
my spots...
it used to be my legs...i'd hit my calves with something. then people would ask what happened, so then, it was my upper thighs...now it's mainly my stomach/hips. and then sometimes i'll slam my hand into a wall and it's my hand/wrist. one time i beat my hips so bad with a tennis racquet that i thought i broke a bone, the bruise the next day was horrible and there was a piece that jutted out. i get so mad after i do it. but i can't help myself.
no one understands.
Upper arms for me
It's a lot easier to hide on my upper arms. Plus I don't have to wear long sleeve shirts.
Upper Arms
It's easier to hide on the inside of your upper arms, because mostly you have your arms by your sides and its hidden, even if you're wearing a strappy vest top that exposes your arms. That's where I do most of my cutting. <3
Many places
I believe it all started shortly after I entered highschool or shortly before. I met someone in middle school who injured because her boyfriend in high school did it. I always rolled my eyes in secret but in public I pretended to be interested in her and what she did to her face. To friends other than, I was cruel and even made fun... Then it started with a mark on my wrist. Three actually. I told everyone it was a cat and I made them look just like a cat. I actually had my cats paw up and pushed her claws out to make it more strategically placed. Then it was constantly on my left wrist and thankfully arm warmers and sweat bands were in at the time. Eventually the wrist was too easily noticed even with sleeves and arm warmers. I got older, moved out, and went to college and then the trouble began. I started at the top of my shoulder and ran down to my left wrist on both sides of my arm making sure there was no space left. only cuts, some deep, some not so deep, as long as there was constant blood. I'd make hundreds--literally hundreds at at time and each had to pool blood or I'd reopen or recut. Then I'd go to my thighs and cover them completely. Sometimes writing words. And if I still had energy, I'd go to my feet and carve on the bottom because I had tattoos on the top. I would make hundreds upon hundreds of marks, set in the shower, and cry. I broke upon those razors with multi blades and eventually realized dollar tree and dollar stores sell razor refills with two sharp sides in a 10 pack for $1 so I'd buy a cheap razor and a few packs so as to not alarm the clerk and it was only $1 for each item. I could get $5 worth of blades and make 100 blades or more if I broke them. I knew that you can donate a pint or two of blood so I never worried about how much I bled. It takes about 2 pints to start causes damage and typically they dont do tranfusions until you reach 2-3 pints empty. All of this but I've been cut free for nearly 6 months, and before that, it was 9 month, then before that 14. Perhaps I'm progressing towards a major relapse, but for 4 years it was constant. I am almost 22 now. Times are changing. I'm in university. I try to be more careful and find better things. Like alcohol since I'm old enough. Usually only once a month or two. But I did it everywhere when I cut and it was messy.... hence the shower setting. Oh and I had anywhere from 6-10 friends who did this too and we all thought it was just... a great release.. a feeling of control. So long as we controlled the pressure, the pain, the place, the amount of blood, the feelings, the crying, how we hurt.... as long as we were in control was all that mattered because our parents would never understand. Then it just became a habit...
Everywhere
I usually cut on both my forearms, wrists, and shins. Sometimes I cut on my thighs or stomach.
I mostly self-injure...
my thighs. It gets the job done and is easy to hide, but I'd much rather prefer to do it on the side of my left wrist (am right handed). I rarely do it there anymore unless I am really upset (not to say I'm not when cutting my thighs...). I've done it on my right ankle, lower left arm, front of my left calf, hips, left of rib cage, and ocassionally my right thigh. I have so many less scars on my left compared to my right.
It hurts less on the left for some reason...
Where I Cut
I feel like I cut everywhere. Mostly I cut my right hip and thigh and stomach but I started on my left wrist and then moved to my left shoulder but wrist is too obvious and shoulder doesn't hurt enough. I also cut my hands - webs of fingers, side of hand, upper pad of fingers ect - because they are so easy to explain away and when I am upset they are easiest to re-open and the little blood and pain from a finger can calm me better than just scratching the longer, deeper cuts on my thigh through my jeans. I have also cut my feet, lower legs, and upper arm but not very much. Despite years of not cutting my arm, I still feel 'called' to my lower arm when I have urges. No where else is as satisfying for me.
Where ?
My favorate place is my ankle, it can be easy to hide but difficult with school sports or swimming.
Scissors
I use hair-layering scissors (I have a problem with razors and stuff, I need something rigid) and I cut along my calves. It's sorta easy to hide and if anyone sees I just say that I accidentally walked through a prickle bush or something.
Where to cut...
For me, my upper legs are the most accessible place and the easiest palce to hide. I don't wear short shorts, and if I wear a skirt, I have leggings on underneath, so they can never be seen by anyone else other than myself.
Hips
HiPS IS SUPER EASY TO HIDE
...
my vagina, its very easy to hide
my 2 fave spots
I first used to cut on my lower arm because thats where i laways known and seen people cut. Then i moved to my upper thighs. that was my favorite spot because i never wore skirts or shorts so it was so easy to hide.
I self injure almost
I self injure almost everywhere but my favorite areas are my legs and feet. Really easy to hide because I wear long pants and long socks. Sadly I've also got a bad talent of making any of my self injury marks look accidental so I rarely ever get asked "what happened?".
Legs
Upper legs. Always upper legs. Easy to hide. I don't go deep... I cut to feel alive, so I never go too deep...
Where?
Everywhere but my dick. Most common being every part of either arm down to the wrist,my chest,and my face. I have a twisted,disfiguring set of scars from my first suicide attempt: A ropy,twisting,thick length of white scar tissue going from the right corner of my mouth to my ear,and a twin set of thick,pale scars going down each arm,centimeteres from the veins. I've been told my face always seems to have a hysterical,demented smile no matter what my expression because of this.
my back
Ive been cutting and burning my back. I know thats an odd place but its easy to hide and its so ugly now, I cant seem to stop.
Where?
I cut my stomach for two reasons it's the easiest to hid and it's the place I hate most I somethines do my upper legs
Scars on my heart- Literally
I started with just my wrists, but after leaving 3 dark scars on my left wrist, I tried other places. The worst of it is across my chest. It goes from around my heart to my waist. There are now three unmistakable scars running down my chest, and I hate them. I felt like my heart was torn apart, and cutting around it was the best way for me to materialize that pain, to see it on the outside- and now I wear the scars on my chest. Hidden from most, but inconvenient enough. I still burn my arms though.
Ankles and thighs mostly
I'm deffinetly not one of the extreme cutters that's for sure but I do. I started off with my ankles and hid it with my socks. I knew it would hurt my parents to find out so one night in an argument I laid into them about alot of things and then screamed it in their faces. My mom bawled and told me if I did it again she'd take me to a specialist. So I stopped cutting on my ankles and moved to my upper thighs so they wouldn't know about it. I don't cut all that often but when my heart gets broken or I'm ovewhelmed or whatever I do. I have fairly big thighs so there's alot of areas to cut. The other day though I wanted to cut my wrist just to see what it would feel like but I knew my mom would be able to figure out if it was a knife or razor so I took the plastic covering off the end of one of my bobby pins and scratched a four inch long diaganol scratch on my forearm/wrist. Anyone that asks how I got it I just tell them it was my cat and it honestly does look like a cat scratch but I want ti do mire than one on my wrist so badly!!!!!! But I wouldn't be able to hide it for very long at all.
It's hard to hide, isn't it...
My hips, people don't notice because they're always covered. but they run out of room fast
I like my ankles and wrists
I like my ankles and wrists the best...
location
I first cut on my lower arms a few times, but I always found it easier to hide things on my legs. Then I began cutting on my hips.
location
I first cut on my lower arms a few times, but I always found it easier to hide things on my legs. Then I began cutting on my hips.
Cutting
Started on my lower legs, then I did my lower arms, then my parents found out so I did it on my right thigh. Then the day before yesterday I did my lower arms again. I'm going to have to wear wrist bands and long sleeves now, but it was worth it.
i cut the bottems of my feet.
i cut the bottems of my feet. so every step that i make i am reminded of it. i like it
Where
Thighs, upper part of my calves, my stomach, my hips, breasts... but never my arms or anywhere near my ankles - too noticeable
Where I cut
I used to cut on my left forearm but I had many close calls where I almost got caught. Another big fear was the doctors. And it's winter
now, but I love swimming so it would be hard to hide in the summer. So I moved to my breasts where it would be covered by my bra. It's pretty sensitive so it's good. I still much prefer my arms, but it's just too risky.
the places i cut..
it depends. ill do it where evers available. currently, its on my right hip. but since i dont ahve anything to do it with anymore bc my boyfriend took them from me, ive been using dull scisssors. -.- very annoying. i have a lot of scar tissue on my left wrist. its about an inch long. i may have tougher skin there, but you dont actually see any scars. except one and even then, its really really faint. out of all the cutting ive done, all 3 years, i only have 4 scars. -.- oh well. its both a blessing and a curse. i cant do it on my upper thighs bc i have to wear a skirt to school and i dont "sit like a lady". ive done my shoulders, back, stomach, feet, hands, neck face, all over my arms. if i scarred, i would be one giant thing of scars. but i dont which is both happy making and sad making.
-bailey
they are the cause
we are the casualties
Knee to Hip
My first cut was on my lower left arm it was so deep I was almost hospitalized. After that I have never cut on my arms again. My first cut was my last for a while but I never ever forgot the relief it gave me. Recently I've started again first I thought I should just do one or two above my right knee to see if I could get that relief again. But once you start it's so hard to stop as I would think many of you know. I hate myself for concentrating all the cuts on my right thigh because now it starts from my knee and goes all the way up almost to my hip with each cut almost touching each other. Sometimes I only do 10 cuts other times I do over 30 in one sitting. Now they get deeper each time. I have no plans to stop but I'm worried what is going to happen. I've already gotten a few suspicions from peers because you can see it through the stockings of my school uniform. I'm not even going to think about getting a physical or wearing a swimsuit for as long as I can.....
Mostly...
My left wrist, but since my mom found out, my thighs. Not near as relieving though.
Moved....
I started off on my wrists but after mum finding the blades I had to switch coz it was harder to hide, & people at school kept seeing. So for the past few years I've been cutting my thighs. No one can see it. & I burn my hands with matches from time to time or whack my head off stuff. Both easily explained & hidden same with my chest near the bottom where my ribs end. But when things are extremely bad I go everywhere
.All the little pieces falling shatter. Shards of me too sharp to put back together. Too small to matter but big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
Where?
My lower arms, and the top and sides of my wrists... sometimes my upper legs, and my ankles, my sholder at times, depends....
Don't ignore the pain in your heart, it only makes it worst.....
Anywhere
I will do it almost anywhere. But lately I have been doing it mostly on my calves and palm. A little on my upper arm. I used to do it always on my hips but I ran out of skin so I had to move places. The sucky thing is I'm a dancer and only wear tights (which are a little see through so the cuts are very noticable) and a leotard. Another thing is that I have a doctors appt. for a yearly check up and the cuts are very deep and new and big and VERY unexplanable. I can't let anyone find out because I think my mom is getting a little suicidal with all the stress in her life and I am almost positive she will kill herself if she ever found out, especially now. I'm so lost and I don't know what to do anymore.
hey im right there with you
hey im right there with you on the cutting i do it occasionally but deeply and on my left arm. people say things like stop but they dont know what its like so dont worry try your arm. theres more room and its easier to be explained.
hope this helped!
- Someone who know what its like