Theres mental and physical pain that I feel. I like it. It gives me the feeling that I'm in control of something. My life is pretty much school, cut, homework, sleep. I'm always grounded because my parents hate me, and they don't care that I suffer from depression. Nobody knows exactly how I feel, that's why I do it. Because it feels amazing. It may hurt for a while but to know that I actually did something to myself without my parents making me/ knowing, it's like my own secret. I'm not important in my own world, and if you know how I feel and you want to talk feel free to email me... or if you think I'm a freak and just want to judge me, don't. But here it is ssostarichyahoo [dot] com
Whoever says that they don't (while sober) are lying. It hurts and that's why I enjoy it. Pain is a turn on for me, so is blood. Love the feeling of being wounded. Love the reminder on my forearms and legs of whatever I did wrong that day, whatever someone else did wrong that way. It's my body, might as well enjoy it.
Yes, feeling pain is the main reason I cut. When the pain from a cut makes me take a deep breath is when I start to relax and feel relief from the emotional pain. I have tried alternatives like ice or a rubberband, but it doesn't create the same feeling.
Yes. As often as possible I choose an object that I know will rip my skin instead of just slicing it like a razor blade. I love to feel the pain. It's why I continue to do it. The pain makes me feel something. It gives me what I deserve.
I usually don't feel immediate pain when I cut or burn myself. I only later feel the pain when I take a shower and the water touches them or if I burned myself then It stings after. But it's not necessarily a bad type of pain. The pain is good. It distracts me from my emotional stress and pain and it feels good. I'm not afraid of the physical pain, I'm afraid of the mental pain. If I didn't SI I probably would not still be here.
