self-injury.net

I don't know who I am. It seems as if everything I've learned in life up to this point(i.e. social interactions, morality, ethics) has been a well orchestrated lie to hide just how empty I really am. I hide myself because I'm afraid i'll drive anyone who sees the real me away... of course that usually happens regardless of what steps I take. I know there was a time in the past when I still had my innocence, or some deluded sense of righteous purpose. But it seems I've picked up this darkness along the way. It corrupts whatever it touches. It drives me to do harmful things to myself. And purhaps worst of all it has taken me completely to the point where I don't know where the line between me and this... passenger is drawn.  I'm diagnosed as being Bi-Polar but personally that just feels like a label. Just a way to describe something that can't be understood. If you want to get technical the term "Bi-Polar" Can refer to something just as abstract as love, or depression. A word used for a specific batch of emotions that can only truly understood once it's felt at a personal level... and once again I'm rambling

My name is Oliver, and I'm bound by chains without shadow