Hey guys! My name is Cassie, and I’m fifteen. Whoa, saying that I’m fifteen sounds weird. Because I’m fifteen (well, turning so in a few hours) and yet I’ve done nothing productive with my life. One of the famous quotes around this house is, “I think we’ve gone crazy.” And I always say back, “No, we went crazy a long time ago.”
I am one of three children. I have a twin autistic brother, and a younger brother who is eleven years old. I, myself, am also autistic. I have Asperger’s, which is high functioning Autism. I also have a few physical conditions, one of those being Fibromyalgia.
Where did it all start? I don’t like to blame my issues on the abuse, but I do know that the abuse played a factor in who I am today. As a young child, I was raped and molested. I kept those memories buried deep inside of my head for years, before I said anything about it. Flashbacks and nightmares are a daily part of my life.
When I was little, I used to, bite, pinch, and hit myself. At age eight, I developed anxiety. By the time I was ten years old, I was cutting myself. I’ve been told that my chance of recovery is very slim. So I’m working, very slowly, to prove the doctor’s wrong. Even though it really hurts and sometimes I don’t know if I want to get better. Not only do I cut, but I bruise and break bones along with burning. When I was twelve, I developed ednos, which is now classified as Atypical Anorexia. I’m suicidal, and I’ve tried to take my life.
I have been bullied on and off for years. Everything from, “You smell” to, “Go kill yourself.” I’m currently homeschooled and I’m going into the tenth grade; hopefully school continues to stay at home.
There’s this girl, and every school has at least one, if not more. She walks alone, staring at the ground. She puts a smile on her face, and laughs. But she’s living a lie; crimson lies. She’s so used to feeling this way that she can’t tell you the last time she was actually happy. She doesn’t know if she wants to get better because she’s afraid to let go. That’s me. So, hi, nice to meet you.
I just want to let you know that I’m here for everyone and anyone who is in need. If you just want to vent, or if you need advice, PM me. I’d be upset if you didn’t ask me for help.
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