Breadcrumbs:
Stats
Profile visitors
About Me
"Don't be fooled by her beautiful smile. Inside she's breaking, she's fragile."
"How do you know I'm hurting if you cannot see my pain? To wear it on my body shows what words cannot explain."
Those quotes are me. I'm Cassie, I'm fourteen. I have Asperger's syndrome. That's mild functioning autism. My twin brother has severe autism. Here's our family expriment: Two fully vaccinated kids, and one who has never had vaccinations. Two autistic kids, one typically developing child. I don't give a damn who did what studies on autism in conjunction to vaccinations.
I have been cutting since I was ten years old. Cutting is my main form of self-harm. I also bruise, burn, break/sprain bones, and starve. My stomach, thighs, and legs are covered in self inflicted cuts and scars. I've spent years hiding behind a smile. I realized I'm not going to hide anymore, I don't have the energy.
I also have anorexia/ednos, five anxiety disorders, borderline personality disorder, body dysmorphic disorder, and major depressive disorder. I probably have even more disorders, but I probably don't know about them. So, I'm crazy.
I'm extremley suicidal. I tried to take my life several times. The determination to kill myself has been stronger than ever.
I live with my parents, two brothers, and tons of pets! We joke sometimes and say we could charge admission for a zoo..I've lived in another country, and five other states. Well, almost six, but I haven't moved yet this time around.
I am a writer, trying very hard to get my writing published. If you look under creativity, most of my poems are there. Hopefully my computer never crashes, because most of my poems are online. I'm trying to transfer them into a journal, but I'm too lazy.
You know that smiley girl....the one who seems to have it prefect? WRONG. It's all about hiding my pain from everyone else. Around my friends though, I am the happiest and up beat of them all.
I hate it when I'm told that I hurt people. I'm the one who starves, cuts, cries, and gets anxiety attacks before anyone knows anything. I am not proud of it. I think of myself as a loser with it. People judge me though they don't know anything. I hate telling people about my problems, I try hard to hide them and not tell people, so I came on here to know I'm not alone.
Need to talk? I'm here to listen. Post a comment or PM me.
As my poem Broken Beyond Repair says,
"I live my life in constant doubt.
Suicide seems like the only way out.
I lost the battle, not the war.
Someday, recovery will come knocking at my door."
Interests
Writing (My work is in the long process of being published)
I'm a perfectionist
Reading
Music
Anything twloha or autism awareness
Helping people
Stream
|
Status
|
||
|---|---|---|
|
I want the heat that radiates off of cuts. |
|
|
|
I'm craving the feeling of blood running down my skin. |
|
|
|
Six weeks SH free. <3. |
|
|
|
If you haven't already, listen to "Warrior" by Demi Lovato. That song is amazing. |
|
|
|
I just gained my first full memory. It's earth shattering. I need the blade. I hate this. |
|
- 1 of 30
- ››
Topics
|
Last Post
|
|||
|---|---|---|---|
|
0
|
|
||
|
3
|
|
||
|
0
|
|
||
|
0
|
|
||
|
0
|
|
Comments
|
|
|
|
I'm Trying My Hardest
Sometimes, I don't know if I want to get better; I guess I'm afraid of letting go, and learning what it is like to genuinely be happy. It's almost... |
|
|
Thanks!!
I love to share my writing :) Everyone's comments means sooooo much to me! Thanks, guys. That's a true story, too |
|
|
|
|
|
You're Welcome!
It was awesome. We did all of these cool tests and stuff. You're welcome. You always have us :) |
|
Add comment
Comments
The high school thing
8 months () (Permalink)I survived high school, but not with other students. I mostly struggled by myself, only with the help of a few friends (whom did not know about my depression and anxiety disorder). I flocked to my teachers. I grew closer with a couple and continue to go out for coffee with them. If you ever need any words of wisdom to help get through the day, let me know.
Shelby
Comment Links:
@autismtwin
9 months () (Permalink)OMG girllllll ILove u ur my BFF if anyone Fucks with u I will hunt the down and they will have to deal with me but anyway like we just got off the phone and yea lol
Comment Links:
Comment Links:
very inspiring! What state do
10 months () (Permalink)very inspiring! What state do you live in? or around?














Oh my gosh! I'm so proud of you, keep it up, be strong!
2 days ago