I have just been looking for other people out there that are like me. I'm 37 and I started cutting a year ago this November. At first it was just with a dull knife that would cause some bleeding but not much. Then it got to where that wasn't enough and I went to Walmart and bought a pack of razors. I burn sometimes but it's hard to do that at home because it smells up my room, so gross. So I usually just stick to cutting.
I'm not looking for help, just communication with people that understand what I'm dealing with. I am not in a point in my life that I want to stop. I lied to my ex-boyfriend when I told him that I tossed my razors and I wanted to cut so bad when I was with him but I couldn't, I knew he would see. But now we are not together so I don't have to worry about him. He just acted like he cared...it was all lies. I'm over dealing with men and their lies, I can't find one that actually knows how to tell the truth. So aggravating.
I take lexapro for my depression, anger issues and anxiety. It does seem to help..not with the cutting, it can't take the razor out of my hand.
**~~UPDATE~~** Feb. 20, 2012
So I am now seeing a psychologist and the other doctor that prescribes the pills. We discuss how not to hate myself and I take Zoloft now to try and help with that. It is helping, but there are still times when I sit in my room and I’m drinking and all I can think about is cutting. We haven’t discussed the cutting at all. I brought it up in the start but nothing else has been said about it. I’m just having a kinda low time now because I’ll be turning 39 on Friday the 24th and it’s just a little rough.
- staying away from people
- learning about the bible
- TV - i watch a good deal of it