self-injury.net

Im just a 14 year old girl wanting to stop cutting wishing there was away but also not wanting to stop i duno what i want. I love music and every one im my life knows about my cutting. been cutting a year now....funnnnnnn. i have no self asteem i a fat ugly bastered and people always betray me thats my life...

my life of depression started in 6th grade summer break going to 7th im now going into 9th. my depression started with my family they are CRAZY not kidding. to make things short my family is falling apart iv been suffering from nausia for almost 3 years  now its a big pain and i haven felt physicly good in YEARS and i wish for one day i could feel good and not sick. because of the pain i didnt go to school it terrified me to get sick in class so that was alot of stress on me suffering so much stress for so long so i refused to go to school almost went to coart because of this so i was homeschooled and i worried about being so behined and almost not passing 7th grade (i did) so theres that. iv been to somemany docters to find out whats causing this pain been diagnosed so many things nothing helped been and so many medications and had over 15 psyciatrist lost all of my friends because of not going to school. so then everything fell aparrt so i cut one day and it helped (guess where  is is going to) i can never eat and from here is where the real stuff started happining....ill tell u that later maby in a story idk u may be thinking why is that so bad to the point where u cut. well for 3 years iv been dealling with the frustration of nausia every day never feeling good for an hour then i also have no idea what the hell is wrong with my body i just wanted to feel something elce other than  that pain and so i made my own pain and i knew where that pain came from then also i wanted to feel incontrol of my body and forget about the pain of nausia for one DAY I WISH I COULD FEEL GOOD!!! thats all i really want...........:(