self-injury.net

  You'll wonder why, and I won't be able to tell you.
You'll end up realizing I'm no good for you...

I ♥ to design graphics and websites. I game and fucking love it. I'm allergic to chocolate. I'm scared of clowns and spiders. The sound of crunching bugs makes me want to jump out of my skin. I'm scared of being outside alone at night, and yet I love walking around when it's dark. My shower is always too hot. I love getting in to a cold bed, and warming it up myself. I hate feet, but love shoes. I love walking around outside barefoot. I can't stand Eggnog, but I'm fully addicted to any type of liquid. I cuss all the time. My favorite words are fuck & dick. I'll never swear to those I respect greatly. If you're a friend, a fucking relative I know my boundaries with, or even a higher power-- I will fuck your verbal mind up. I'm not afraid to be blunt with someone, even if that means hurting them. Honesty hurts. Get over it. I'm not here to be liked or accepted. If I am either, than hur-fucking-ray. Once you get to know me though, you'll most likely hate me...

That was a pretty blunt statement about me, and I'm sorry if I've offended anyone in the process. I honestly have no true way of describing myself. All in all, I hate myself. I have every mirror in my apartment covered with a sheet, and rarely take a glance at myself... I've lived with myself, the way I am, for ten years... I've come to a breaking point in my life and have become tired of losing a battle against myself. I don't want to hurt any more. I don't want to pretend. I want to wake up and be okay with who I am. Not dread the morning light, and dread even more the evening moon. I want to be able to look someone in the face and be able to honestly tell them I'm okay. Ten years of on and off deep depression has ruined my life, my body, and caused me to ruin lives as I attempt to exsist... I'm done with it.