Hey there. Ruby Black is my pen name, so that's what I'll go by here. I'm 19 years old and about to finish my first year at college. I started SI when I was 14, and was able to stop after a lot of therapy and medication. I've dealt with the urges since then, but it wasn't until just a few months ago that I really started craving it. I just recently started again, after almost 5 years. I'm so afraid of going down the same path I did when I was 14, but at the same time I don't want to stop. After reading some of the posts on this website, I see that I am not alone, at all. That gives me a little more hope.