I'm 31 and female. Live in Wisconsin and am single. I can't handle being in my own head so a relationship is out of the question. I've been anorexic/bulimic since the age of 14. It's a daily battle to eat and/or not throw up. I have been hospitalized 8 times for the eating disorder as well as other psychiatric issues. I am very underweight now and hope it kills me so I don't have to think about suicide. I don't want to die, just sick of living in my head. I have been cutting since the age of 15. I don't remember why I started or how it became an outlet for my emotional pain. I am scared of letting people touch me. This has been going on about 3 years. I am afraid to get emotionally attached to anyone (including family) because I am always hurt. I love hard but then push people away out of fear of being hurt by them.
I used to love the outdoors and sports but am now terrified of going outside. I hate the wind and it scares me. I mainly stay inside now because I am not able to work since last August when I ws hospitalized for suicidal thoughts.