self-injury.net

* 21 * Unaccomplished * Curious * Free-spirited * Random * Socially awkward * Easily amused * Friendly * Eclectic *

Started cutting a little over 2 years ago. It started with just scratches, enough to feel a little pain but hardly left a mark. Then I needed more. Decided a scalpel would do the job more effectively. First I only did it when I was upset or depressed then it became a fascination and I started doing it just for kicks and control. The blood and light euphoria is my thing. The pain too sometimes, to see how much I can take. Biting, hitting, and some burning (not extensive just hot objects) I've really been self injuring since 6th grade. I used to prick myself with ink pens hoping to get led poising and some hitting and biting too. Didn';t realize what it was then. I basically always felt inadequate in in life. My dad died when I was 5, never really dealt with that. I was bullied a little through school too. Everything goes down the poop shoot for me constantly. So I guess cutting would qualify as punishment as well, for being such a epic fail. My state of mind depends on the day. I could be optimistic and happy or completely disenchanted with life and ready to end it. When around other people I'm not the debbie downer I am in my head, I like to make people laugh. I spend a lot of time getting to know myself. Analyzing my feelings and actions. Reflecting. All I want is to truly be happy. Become a horse trainer, maybe have a house full of kids and animals one day. Facebook: www.facebook.com/reflectivedreamer Twitter: www.twitter.com/cortexisquint