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About Me
My name is Ayo. I'll be sixteen in February....and I have no idea how to stop this. Most of the time I want to stop. I mean I know it's wrong to do this, to cut myself and feel better...and yet, I do feel better. Maybe, I'm getting sicker because of it. Maybe not. But it hurts to have lie to people everyday with that stupid "Yeah, I'm fine". I'm not fine. I'm not good. And I don't know what to do. My stepdad is usually my trigger, and it's not even one of those 'I resent him because he's not my real father' type deals. Hell, I wish it was. Let's just say we don't 'get along'...very, very strongly. Everything in my life feels out of control, but when I reach for my blade, it doesn't matter.
Interests
Writing
Piano
Listening to problems
Making people smile
Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches
Swapping SI stories
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As if my life wasn't already spiraling, I now figure out that I'm attracted to girls too? How in the hell am I supposed to deal with this? |
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I'm breaking down again. I even stopped cutting for a good two weeks. But my demons are back now it seems...and I can't ignore them |
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hi |
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My mother slapped me in the face last night and I don't know what to do. I want to slice my legs, but at the same time I want to lay still.  last night my mother slapped me too,grabbed and pulled me by the hair and kicked me.Many times.Well,i completely understand you.It hurts so much.For other people it may sound stupid,but i know it's not.Today she called me a slut,a prostitute and miserable,finished and other awful stuff.My stepfather said they both feel sorry for me,that they feel shame for me.I swear,i am not a slut or anything,neither i am walking with the skirts and the breasts out of the blouse,seriously. |
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Did he hurt you? :( |
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My Love To You
I literally have no idea how to tell you Sullen, I am so sorry. All I can do is send you all the love I can from my heart. Remember that you aren't... |
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I Get It
Feeling like you're alone is terrible. It makes me want to curl up on my bed and cry and cut forever so I understand how you feel. The one thing that... |
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Hi
I'm Ayo. I came across your profile and I like it. You seem pretty cool. Do you ever talk to Sheila? I find that talking to things helps, although I... |
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Whoa!
Sorry about your whole detention deal. Sounds terrible. I can tell you this though. Your grandmother's going to stop checking your body soon ... |
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How Can I Explain It?
How can I explain it? It feels amazing....like i'm freefalling and nothing matters. It is, simply put, euhporia. I feel high, like i'll never come... |
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Hello
Dec 02