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  1. Pigmaginny's Blog

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    Pigmaginny
    Latest Entry

    Ugh i don’t seem to be able to control myself. Its almost everyday again and its really starting to hinder me at work. If i cant at least slow down im going to lose another job because of it. 

    Just really wish i could say something without everyone around me just leaving again. Not sure if i should say something but i know i wont. If im totally honest im not sure why im even writing anything here i don’t expect anyone will ever read it. Its just good to talk to myself if nothing else.

    So im not sure why but i always have loved to cook, although i can never eat it. I beat myself up over that a lot because i hate wasting food. I mean i eat it eventually but i do waste a lot more than i ever eat. 

    I tend to self harm the most in the morning with my coffee and after a hard day. For what its worth i really do want to stop but just cant even see myself not doing it after so long. I don’t even remember what its like to not have self harmed. 

    Looking forward to not doing it but i almost cant see that ever happening. Its a need to stop and……well you know.  

  2. StormyGraves
    Latest Entry

    Hi everyone. It feels like years since I’ve been on this website. I’m 17 now. I’m a junior in high school, preparing for college. Yeah, it’s like unbelievable to me still. I want to know how everyone is doing. I’ve grown an progress a lot. Stopped self-harm. Stopped those self-destructive behaviors. Stopped going to therapy or taking medication for depression. And basically I just was laying down tonight. Thought about this website, and I want to be of support, to someone, anyone. Just to know I’ve improved someone’s day or even made their life brighter, gives me happiness and fulfillment. I want to be of positivity. Shed hope. Proof that things will change and improve upon that change. And I know it might sound like the same stuff people shove into your ears, and you believe it all to be false but it’s not. So how are you? How has your day been? I’m here. For everyone. Love you, guys. Message me or comment if you want to talk. I’ll try to blog about how things have been going for me in my personal life. I feel like I’ve grown a lot. Maturity-wise, Spiritually. I feel like I’ve grown emotionally, mentally. I feel strong. I’ll blog more tomorrow. I have to sleep for school in the morning but I hope everyone is doing well. Love you all. Leave a comment or a message if you’d like. Have a good day or night. <3

  3. carebear89's Blog

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    carebear89
    Latest Entry

    What Shall I say? I have been cutting myself myself for over 10 years and once landed in the emergency room with 10 staples and yet I still cannot stop. It is a release, euphoria almost. Letting go of everything. I can go a while without doing it and my favorite spots are are my legs so no one suspects anything. But my boyfriend has gotten concerned because I have epilepsy and bi-polar so I am home alone a lot.I promised him I would like for something like this to ease his nerves.

  4. suzie.Q's Blog

    suzie.Q
    Latest Entry

    On thanksgiving I lost my baby. The doctor said I was almost 3months pregnant… This would have been my 3rd child. I’ve finally come to terms with it and it hurts more then ever. If only I could have held you and told you I love you just once. The father doesn’t know, I kind of wish he did now but it was best he didnt. We broke up that same day I started to miscarry, I was waiting to tell him but then it was to late and things changed between me and him and our friendship now is ruined. I hope my child is in a better place<3 R.I.P my beautiful baby.

  5. lies_behind_a_smile's Blog

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    lies_behind_a_smile
    Latest Entry

    “She’s smiling, she must be ok.”

    I smile so you don’t see.

    “She’s eating, she must be ok.”

    I eat, but I don’t keep it down.

    “She sees a therapist, she must be ok.”

    I do but i cover my pain.

    “She has no cuts on her wrists, she must be ok.”

    Why would i cut where you can see?

     

    Everything is not as it seems.

    It doesn’t get better instantly.

    So why won’t anyone stop expecting it to happen?

    I’m tired of it. I’m tired of the pain, I’m tired of the crying, i’m tired of the numb feeling, and I’m tired of the disappointment when the cycle repeats.Again and again,

  6. SuicideInSilence's Blog

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    Hello! My name is DeeDee and this is my blog, in this blog I will Fight social anxiety, depression, and more importantly the World. So feel free to read along, this is mainly a place for me to just breathe.

  7. slowly understanding
    Latest Entry

    if youve read any of my other posts you would know ive always cut off and on depending on the season. it seems as if every year is a bit different. this time ive notice that nothing has to happen for me to desire to cut. ive noticed changes even since ive started this year. like at first i couldnt stand to cut unless i was highly triggered. and now i dont have to be triggered at all. i dont have to be upset. nothing has to happen. i just pick a razor almost for something to do. some days ill be thinking about it all day just waiting to go home and do it and others are like today where i just randomly did it. i didnt even really think about it. is this weird?

  8. ForeverFailureXXX's Blog

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    ForeverFailureXXX
    Latest Entry

    Since I’ve been on here last, I’ve gone through another recovery, another breakup, another relapse. Everything was going great with John. He was great…. for someone else. We moved in together too soon. We didn’t know each other well enough. I thought there was more to learn about him but turns out he was shallow and cared more about video games than reality. He cooked, he made me dinner, he bought me flowers. He was everything I thought I wanted but he didn’t understand the first thing about me. We had nothing in common and he was not emotionally supportive. I needed out and I have no regrets. I was okay for the first 5 months alone but I guess I just got tired of friends not being supportive, feeling lonely all day at school and going home to an empty apartment. I’m becoming numb again. I’ve been cutting every day for the last week and I’m not sure where to turn for support. I’m afraid no one will reach out to me but at the same time I can’t reach out to them. I go to a therapist once a week and I like her but she doesn’t get it. She doesn’t understand the need to feel that cool blade press into me to release to the pain burning inside me. And so here I am… again begging to be heard.

  9. localnativeddd's Blog

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    I only had one friend and she started changing ever since she got her first boyfriend. So i told her she was being a bad friend and that i was not going to continue being her friend if she didnt stop acting out. she stopped hanging out with me and stuff and it really hurt my feelings and she said okay. and she turned everyone against me and spread fake rumors about me talking about them even though it was her who said those things and when i told her she said them she acted as if i was the crazy one and said that im a physcopath. She told teachers and stuff that i needed help and that i was crazy but that is not the truth, I am not crazy at all i have suffered from self harm but i dont do that anymore and so did she and they have they nerve to make fun of me for it and not her. she even lied and said that i talked about their dead friend. And now i have a new boyfriend who i love but they wont stop trying to make him hate me and its sad and its all her spreading lies to them for no reason. she also told them she said she didnt want to be my friend but the truth is i told her i didnt want to be friends with her. she picked the druggies over me and we were friends for 4 years so i dont understand how someone can do that. its non stop making fun of me from there group and she even turned some of the people who were my good friends against me with lies she even sits with my boyfriends sister and made her HATE ME and lie to my boyfriend about me I dont understand why she is doing this but she is ruining me i have no one to talk to other than my boyfriend i have no friends im a shy person and i dont know what to do.

  10. Kotaj's Blog

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       Hey You yeah you over there. Yes you!!!! You are beautiful they way you are. These where thh words that where said to me by a friend. She was always one to make me smile. Then the night my dad. Well let’s say I am lucky to wakl away. I carve the words that I think I am. WORTHLESS, FAT, GAY. Those words are carved on the inside of my thigh. That is not all the scars I have. I have 100+ on my forearm and wrist. I have been hospitalized once and I hated it. I am only 15 and my dad says that I will never get out of high school. 

  11. unloveable's Blog

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    unloveable
    Latest Entry

    Hello. I’m 13, SI since I was 8. bulimic too… but I want recovery from this. My motivation is stupid to some, but my motivation is a guy in my school… because I like him and I’ve been told by many of his friends that he likes me too.
    This sounds stupid to a lot of people, but If he does like me….. he’s gonna find out about my scars soon.

    This is kinda random but that’s the way I am.

    Stay strong everyone.

  12. Emotion In a Guy's Blog

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    Emotion In a Guy
    Latest Entry

                      Recently social anxiety has been getting to me. Alot. And it sucks like in school I seem to have alot of people that want to connect with me but my social anxiety is so bad that I literally cant speak breathe or move when someone tries to talk to me. Is this normal? Also we just moved to a new place that’s 300 miles away.And on top of it all I have this kid who contenually bullies me for the stupidest things. If he finds out that I’m cutting I’m screwed. I dont know, if this is normal or if I’m just going insane but is there anything I can do to help this situation at all?

  13. despina's Blog

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    despina
    Latest Entry

    if you are a rape victim, boy or girl… please be here….

  14. annie16's Blog

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    annie16
    Latest Entry

    I am now a few days clean from self harm. School is a major stressor for me, and I am not sure why. I’m trying to enjoy my Thanksgiving holiday, but what will happen after that? Life will happen. I am going to be a support for others during this time and I ask for support as well. Feeling afraid is not a bad thing. It is is just uncomfortable for me. I know I am not alone, though. 

  15. silencevry1's Blog

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    silencevry1
    Latest Entry

    Cant you hear me im screaming for help, crying out loud ”safe me”. Im drowning, can’t you all see? Safe me! This is insane, i want to wash away end all this pain. I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t blame anyone. It’s me that wasn’t strong enough to take all the nonsense. No one can see the hurt, If only they knew my laughters were crys, my smiles were tears, my scars are my pain.

  16. Lost girl's Blog

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    Lost girl
    Latest Entry

    So I think I’m in that stage now ‘recovery’. Thinking to the future and starting to look forward to life the problem is I don’t know how, I have been in the ‘recovery’ position (pardon the pub) before, reducing the harm, thinking more positively and the problem is I just fall back into old habits I know how this goes and this might be one of those times. I can already feel the pull back into destruction. The problem is if I fall this time there will be consecenques, not that I haven’t had to deal with them before, in the exact situation but this time it feels real and there is more to loose. So as I try harder and harder to get better I start thinking about a time where there will be no harm, if there ever is a time. I have spent such a long time living on a knife edge, wondering when the next ‘earthquake’ will happen, that I don’t know how to live properly and I wonder if I ever will. I always just live from today, great full that I woke up. I keep going for that day, pushing myself to do what I need to do for my studies, for work, for relationships living with that massive amount of pain that is just there never going away. Even though I am in ‘recovery’ the pain seems worse and more real as if it’s testing me to fall back into it’s arms. I don’t know how to live for the future I don’t even know who I am anymore I just know how to survive. I wish I could live and enjoy weeks of life rather than just fleeting seconds. I want to feel alive.

  17. insainekitty's Blog

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    insainekitty
    Latest Entry

    hi im hope im 14 and i think im going crazy. 

    lately ive been hearing noises and voices and its scaring me because they don’t sound friendly, they keep telling me to do stuff that im really trying to stop and i dont know what to do i have 2 therapists and 2 doctors but im to scared to tell them i also keep having this black cat follow me everywhere please help me

  18. minimaugirle8fdab762acbb8dc1
    Latest Entry

    Well been a few months I’ve been here… Not sure why. I almost forgot I had my account on here. Luckily I didnt. 

    I lost my job in May 30. So ive been looking since then. Seems it gets harder for my head to deal with it. Mentally. Feels like im just not good enough to find a job that I can keep. I will be like this for awhile. Im so scared of it. I dont want to live on Unemployment. I want to work. I dont want to Intern. I want to work!!!  Well, All I can do is keep on applying for jobs. I gotta find some other ways too but how can I when Im so down.

    Im back with an old Love , We we were on pause for awhile , 1,5 years. He found someone early this year. I was heartbroken but I know I only wanted to ge back with him cus I was hurting, from a guy I liked. Wasnt the right time at all. But now we have reconcile and are together. It feels wonderful. He lift me up , I lift him up. 

    OH, I havent cut for a long time, More than a year!! I had the urge 2 days ago , I didnt. I thought about those scars  that takes so darn long time to heal and I walked away.That was all. Thank you for taking ur time and read my entry. If you want to add me on here. Would be happy to have more SelfInjury friends

  19. omgnmun's Blog

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    HIM- Before you do anything stupid, I want you to know that you are a very nice person and people are stupid for not seeing that. I wish I could show you the good in this world, but I’m afraid that that’s very scarce. You are a good listener and a very interesting person. You always have something to talk about, so it’s never boring with you. You are very adventurous and a risk taker. I wish that I had your guts, but hopefully one day we will be able to do something outrageous together. I really like you Stella. I hope you’re willing to give me a chance.
         *She doesn’t check her iPad when she hears the ring. She doesn’t care, she will go through with this. Today is the day. With tears pouring down her face, she grabs the sharpest knife and holds it against her throat.*
    HIM- I am scared that you will do something stupid. Especially not when the person who cares most about you is sitting here worried out of his mind. You make me happy. Now it’s my turn.
        *She is screaming, rolling on the floor.She ignores the second ring. She doesn’t know what to do next. She’s laughing?*
    HER- This is it… I am already dead, what am I so scared of?
    HIM- Please answer. I’m worried sick. I know you might be busy, but it’s been an hour already. I want to make sure you’re okay.
    <<Phone rings>>
    HER- Who keeps messaging me and calling me? Why do I care if I’ll be dead once i do this? HAHAHAHA This is it…
        *Tears still rolling down her cheeks, she smiles with a sense of relief. But she is starting to get very curious about who cares enough to message and call her. She checks her iPad and phone.*
    HER- Oh my… No. No. NO.
        *She reads his messages. She puts down the knife and drops to the floor. She’s in tears.*
    HER- Hey, sorry I was a bit busy. Do you really mean that?
    HIM- Yes, I want to make you happy Stella. You deserve it.
    HER- Okay, Yes. I’ll give you a chance. :)

        *Little did he know that he was the reason she was still alive. He was the reason she felt happiness. He was the reason she started to see colors. She wasn’t drowning anymore, she was thawing.*
        *Unfortunatly he also took that away from her. After 9 months, he was in college and she was still in high school. Left to pick up the broken pieces of her heart after he told her he didn’t love her anymore on her 16th birthday. She had nowhere to go, but she promised her sister that she won’t kill herself over a guy. She sat for years, missing him, loving him, needing him, but he was with another. She still sits, missing him, loving him, needing him…*

    ]

  20. Avalon's Blog

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    Hi everyone. My name is Katie and I’m 21.a newbie here. My problems began with college and have progressively gotten worse after a severe car accident (hello PTSD) and an encounter with the head of my former department that ended with me dropping my major. My relationship with my parents is shaky at best, particularily with my mother, and I loathe my sister. I’m in love with my best friend, a fact that he will never ever ever find out, and this often adds to my depressive episodes. I’ve been offically diagnosed with PTSD, a severe form of anxiety, and depression, but there may be some other things floating around in there.

  21. survivor21's Blog

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    Sometimes, there are no words that will sum up the days end, no witty quotes or sayings that can properly conclude the events that have been witnessed.  You begin to wonder if you will ever be able to do enough to calm this chaotic world.  As your mind starts to spin the cold air claws at your skin.  Should you just let yourself fade? Follow all the others into that six foot deep hole that is just waiting to swallow you whole, its just a matter of time until it does anyways, right?  It always does in the end.  Maybe the pills Will silence the demons that haunt your sleep, maybe the bottom of liquor bottle will hold the answers you so desperately seek, maybe that steel blade will bite just hard enough to chase the pain that eats you alive away.  What will the next sun light bring?  A new promise?  Or just a repeat of the struggle that never ends?  So what is your choice?  Will you drownyourself in booze?  Lift yourself on the false security the pain killers bring?  Or chase the crimson high the cool steel of a razor brings?  How about this option, why don’t you take a step back and listen to what I want to show you.  Can you hear the voices of all the people who care about you? The ones that would be devastated without you?  So do me this favor, dump that bottle in your hand into the sink, flush those pills down the drain, toss the blade into the trash and take a deep breath.  Can you feel the air pass through your lungs? Can you hear the beat of a warriors drum beat into your chest?  Do you see the face looking back in the mirror? That’s life flowing through a survivor.  Life is short enough.  So let me ask you this, why would you take anymore of that fragile time off the ticking clock.  You have more than enough time to lay in the coffin later.  Enjoy what you do have, be thankful for the good in your life andforgive the demons that have brought you sorrow and pain.  Without the pain and sorrow you can not feel the happiness that brightens your core if you haven’t felt the latter.  Life is tough, more so for some than others but it hasn’t killed you yet, you are alive and for that you are stronger. Don’t ever forget that you are stronger than you will ever realize.  Smile and show the world that it does not have the power to bring you down. 

  22. suicidegirl's Blog

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    Have you ever felt like you’ve hit “rock bottom”? Like no matter what you do, it’ll never be good enough. No matter how hard you try, you fail. No matter how much effort you put into something, it’s never enough. There’s always someone better. Someone who can do it without even trying and it seems like they did it perfectly. That’s how my life is. How I feel everyday. Like a failure. Ha. who am I kidding? I am a failure. I can’t even simply pass gym class. My theory is that if I know I’m going to fail, I don’t even try. That way, in the end it spares me the pain of being the biggest failure around. I can just keep saying to myself, “I could have done that if I tried” or “I only failed because I didn’t try.” But excuses like that can only work for so long. And I think today was my “wake up day.” It sucks. A lot.
    I fell it deep in my chest, I can’t breathe. Afraid everything is over now. As the cold life-less piece of metal races across my skin, all I can think is, “is this gonna be the end?” Is all the pain, and the failing going to be over? Am I finally free? Free from all this hurt, this pain of everyday. The pain of losing him. The pain of losing myself. There’s only so much a person can take, and even less when you’re alone. I depended on him like he was my life and he just walked away like I was nothing. Like he’s just another scar on my body. Another battle lost. He was my best friend, more than that and then in minutes we became nothing. I was never good enough for him. I’ll never be good enough for anybody or anything. My hundreds of scars prove so. Hearing the words “I’m sooo done with you. Whatever you think we had between us, is over. So delete my number from your phone.” From the person who means everything to you, really really hurts. That simple text message could hurt someone so much, it leads to their breaking point. That’s where I am. On the edge.
    Being so close to the edge, one wrong “step” and it’s over. The biggest question I have to ask myself right now is “Do I give in?” Do I let all this pain that I’ve blocked out for so long over take me? Do I let depression and suicide work together to fulfill its job? Right now, my answer is yes.

  23. lightweight's Blog

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    Recent Entries

    lightweight
    Latest Entry

    I’ve been put in therapy and I’ve been told over and over again that it’s not the only option but some people don’t understand and some people can’t just simply tell another that there are other ways. I know there are other ways but cutting seems to be the only one for me and I’ve told myself that I need to stop and that it’s really not helping anything but i keep doing it anyway I’ve just gotten better at hiding it. I’ve relapsed about 2 or 3 times and I should be ashamed but I’m honestly not anymore. Is that bad?

  24. thistooshallpass's Blog

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    Recent Entries

    thistooshallpass
    Latest Entry

    In 2 weeks I will be a sophomore at college still dealing with self harm. It started in March of 2008 when I was in 7th grade and it’s been occurring on and off for 6 years. I’ve been trying to stop ever since I realized what it was doing to me and that I felt that I needed it. I’ve never been able to stop for even a year. Longest period is 270 days. There have been periods where I thought I was done with self-harm and that I overcame it, but I was always brought back to it and struggled to stay recovered. I guess this issue is a life long one that I will always have to fight.

    I know my triggers and the major trigger for me is my mother. My relationship with her is complicated to say the least and it isn’t a very good relationship and never has been. She wasn’t around much when I was younger like in elementary school, but when she was around or came back from a business trip she’d walk through the door and just start yelling and swearing at my dad and I for chores around the house not being done good enough or up to her high standards. That happened every time she came home from a trip and even just coming home from work. While she was around all that mattered to her were my grades. That’s all she ever talked to me about. She didn’t care about how I did at karate, softball or basketball. Grades were all that mattered to her in her mind and it showed. She rarely came to my games or when I tested for the next belt up in karate, but my dad he was always there; thank god I had him. As the years went on it all got worse. I could never stand up for myself when I would get yelled at and such. I was never taught how to and never did because my mom just pushed me down and kept me there so I just shut up and took everything is threw at me and didn’t say a word. It all built up eventually and my parents didn’t really allow me to show my emotions so i could only show them when I was alone. it ate at me. I wasn’t being taken care of emotionally and when i did the first cut it was for them to physically see the cut and take care of me physically to make up for them not taking care of me emotionally or mentally, but they just saw it as attention seeking; the bad kind. This happened when my sister left for college when I was in 7th grade. I don’t really have a relationship with her either and she is 6 years older than me.
    But, after I started I kept going because it was pain I could control and I couldn’t control my mom and how she treated me. From 7th grade on it just got worse with my mom. My self esteem just went down the drain with her. No grade was good enough. Not even a 100 on a test. She always wanted more and never said it was good or that she was proud unless my dad told her to say it. She has said a lot of horrible things to me and behind my back thinking I would never hear her. This is just a taste of how my mother is a huge trigger for me and she always will be.

    There’s a lot more to this, but for now this is a start to explaining it and getting it out.

  25. shes_lost_it_all's Blog

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    shes_lost_it_all
    Latest Entry

    I cut myself for the first time yesterday. I used a pencil sharpener blade and cut myself two times on my upper left arm. The cuts were small but bled. It didn’t hurt though. I felt do excited!

    Then I cut myself again today. I used the same blade and cut 6 times on my left arm. It was bleeding. They were long and medium cuts. It hurt a bit more than the first time. After that I cut my friend’s name into my skin on my arm. JANELLE. It hurt so much. There was more blood. I love all of the blood and the stinging afterwards.

About Us

Welcome to self-injury.net. We are a support community for self-harmers and also provide information on self-harm, creative works, media lists, lists of resources (helplines, textlines, mental health apps, therapists, etc.), etc. We focus on self-injury but a number of other mental health issues are included.

General

  • self-injury.net
  • Founded
  • Description
  • self-injury.net is a self-harm community and resource founded in 1999. Provides support, resources, and information on self-harm.
  • Founder
    Draco Malfoy Draco Malfoy
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