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I cant get it off my mind, i think about it from the time i wake up to the time i fall asleep.
Why do i love it so much? i dont get it. Why do i love seeing the blood poor out of my arm, why do i love the tingling and itchy feeling through my arm, why do i get mad at myself when i dont cut deep enuff, why do i feel okay when im finished? Am i the only one who feels this way? or do i just sound crazy..??

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Why do i have to be the one who gets hurt? I dont understand what i did, why cant he see me as his daughter? That is where it all started. I was 12 years old. On this night, mom was out partying as she usually did.

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my thrapist belives i cut myself for attenshion i’m not shure what to tell her because i HATE having to tell people who won’t understand(wich is anyone who has not been there.) i don’t want people to know. i’m not shure how to tell her this. i’m so confused. i’ve started cutting on my hips so she and my family won’t find out. i feel like everyone is angry at me for feeling so weak. wich just incresses my cutting and suside atemps. i can’t tell any of my class mates because none of them have this.

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Ha! i guess this is what she means be messed up.

Sleeping has been a problem for me for a while now. I can’t go to sleep. Stay up all night or till 4 or 5. I mean it’s not like i’m watching tv or on the computer to much it’s just I lay there tossing and truing, closeing my eyes, trying to fall asleep but nothing ever happens.

I guess it started a month ago. Couldn’t sleep at all. After two weeks i had enough and strated useing sleeping pills. Hey they worked. But the creepy dreams and me kicking and shoouting while asleep seems to be the problem. My mother comes downs half scared to death thinking i got shot.

It dosen’t happen every night, most nights my sister says i just talk in my sleep. At fisrt i didn’t believe her but one night while at a sleepover with a friend, she got all freaked out saying i was tlaking while sleepoing and saying green eyes watching us.
 

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Hi,my name is kaylyn and i’m a self injurer,i’ve been cutting myself for like 4  years,nobody knew untill i got careless and cut myself in my school’s hallway,i forgot they just put up survallence camera’s,so they called me out of a class to go see the conselor,she called my dad,and he went balistic,he removed everyhing sharp from the house,and even went to the point of taking out all the doors in the house,i think he’s going  bit far with this,but i’m really afraid to talk to him about it,so can someone help me and give me advice on how to deal with this

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I feel stupid. What makes me ever think that someone will notice and care about me? Why do i keep thinking that someone is going to save me from myself? I sit with my “friends” but i am ignored by them. None of them can see that i am dying inside. And i dont know how to show them.

How can i make them see? i want them to care about me, notice me, try to help me. I act happy around them and as much as i hate this acting i cant stop myself.

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ok,so i’ve tried to quit cutting myself,and i always fail,i end up doing it anyway,people tel me it should be easy to quit cutting myself,but it’s not,is that normal,it being so hard to quit.i get mad at myself if i don’t cut deep enough or if it the cut isn’t long enough,when people see my scars they treat me like i’m mental,i’ve tried to stop myself from cutting,i can do ok for a while,but then i’ll feel like i have to cut my arms and legs,i’ve thrown away all my sharp objects i’ve hidden,but i still find ways to cut myself,i’ve

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I have lost all sense of stability. I let everyone down, including myself. I don’t want to be close to anyone anymore, it just hurts me. I just hurt everyone around me. I don’t feel much anymore, but when I do, it’s an explosion. I can’t take this anymore, I don’t want to be living anymore. I’ve given up, my wekaest point; and I’m fine with that.
I can’t be good anymore, I can’t progress. I can’t help anyone, I just fail everytime. This is the worst pain I feel, this is the worst thought. 

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Latest Blog Comments

Gabrielle

Life can be so very difficult. Thinking of you. hearts.png 

Ash016 (not verified)

#Love yourself

Lousie, those feelings are what makes you a human being after all. I have realized that you can’t change the ways of people, but you can change yourself. You need to Forgive yourself, accept yourself and most important, LOVE yourself. I use to hate myself because I lived in a mental...

Louise Ballad

i know exactly how you feel. relapsing makes you lose all hope and faith in your self. it makes you lose all the confidence you have in yourself. but you can do it, if you put your mind to it, it wont be easy but you can!

1ofmany

Had another relapse in January but have been trying to find some form of contentment. Thank you so much. Life just keeps finding ways to circumvent it.

Gabrielle

I’m sorry it’s been so hard for you to talk. hearts.png