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lucianslove

I thought I would have learned my lesson by now.

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Hello all, my name is Jessica. I've had problems with injuring myself since I was about 12. I struggled with anorexia for a few years in my teens, but I seem to have a handle on that. I don't usually self injure anymore, but when I do get the urge, I feel powerless against it.

 

I have a couple of mental illnesses, the worst of which is Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I worry about EVERYTHING, even if I'm just on the way to the grocery store for a few minutes. I'm also a middle school teacher, so still having a problem with self harm makes me feel like a liar and a phony. How can I be uplifting and motivational, when on the inside, I'm a total mess?

 

I don't have a significant stressor in my life at the moment, but this morning I told my husband that I wanted to see a professional for my mental hangups. On the heels of that, since my husband and toddler are currently napping, I was hit with the overwhelming urges. I don't want to give details right now, but I'll say that I don't cut myself anymore. I have purposely injured my wrist over the past year to the point of needing splints, then a cast, and finally surgery last summer. I thought I was done with this, but it's all I can do not to hurt myself. I'm afraid that if I tell someone, the first place I need to go is a hospital... I just don't have time for that.

 

What a drag this stuff is...

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Welcome to Safe Haven! I hope that you find this place supportive and useful. I am sorry that you struggle with SI too. We understand here. You are not alone at all. If you need anything give us a holler! 

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Welcome to Safe Haven (:

Stuff like this is a major drag, but it's really neat that you joined Safe Haven and are looking into other options! I hope the site is helpful!

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Welcome to Safe Haven, Jessica. 

It's a pity that you have to deal with such thing as Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Is there any medication or therapy for that? I hope there is and it helps you. 

I wish you the best. Have a nice time here in Safe Haven! I hope being here helps you, if even only a bit. 

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hi just joined the group too, been self harming since I was eight, have very bad OCD and been diagnosed with depression, I hope this group helps you, as im 

hoping it will help me xx

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Hi Jessica, welcome to SH!
I can kind of understand your SI and the fact you titled this as "I thought I would have learned my lesson by now." is what I think when my sixth form college finds me. (I won't go into details.) If you want to chat, you can always message me. I share your determination as well who doesn't want to go into hospital.

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