A detailed account of bipolar disorder and the modern day psych ward in which Emilie Autumn stayed after a suicide attempt. She compares and contrasts the modern day ward with the Victorian insane asylums. The chapters of the diary are culled directly from her own diary. One chapter of the novel is called "Cutting Diary" and contains several pictures of self-injury and an account of dealing with self-injury that alternates between handwriting and type. The words written underneath the chapter title are "Why am I not ashamed?"
In the vein of Prozac Nation and Girl, Interrupted, an electrifying memoir about a young woman’s promiscuous and self-destructive spiral after being cast out of her ultra-Orthodox Jewish family
Leah Vincent was born into the Yeshivish community, a fundamentalist sect of ultra-Orthodox Judaism. As the daughter of an influential rabbi, Leah and her ten siblings were raised to worship two things: God and the men who ruled their world. But the tradition-bound future Leah envisioned for herself was cut short when, at sixteen, she was caught exchanging letters with a male friend, a violation of religious law that forbids contact between members of the opposite sex. Leah’s parents were unforgiving. Afraid, in part, that her behavior would affect the marriage prospects of their other children, they put her on a plane and cut off ties. Cast out in New York City, without a father or husband tethering her to the Orthodox community, Leah was unprepared to navigate the freedoms of secular life. She spent the next few years using her sexuality as a way of attracting the male approval she had been conditioned to seek out as a child, while becoming increasingly unfaithful to the religious dogma of her past. Fast-paced, mesmerizing, and brutally honest, Cut Me Loose tells the story of one woman’s harrowing struggle to define herself as an individual. Through Leah’s eyes, we confront not only the oppressive world of religious fundamentalism, but also the broader issues that face even the most secular young women as they grapple with sexuality and identity.
On the morning of December 26, 2004, on the southern coast of Sri Lanka, Sonali Deraniyagala lost her parents, her husband, and her two young sons in the tsunami she miraculously survived. In this brave and searingly frank memoir, she describes those first horrifying moments and her long journey since. She has written an engrossing, unsentimental, beautifully poised account: as she struggles through the first months following the tragedy, furiously clenched against a reality that she cannot face and cannot deny; and then, over the ensuing years, as she emerges reluctantly, slowly allowing her memory to take her back through the rich and joyous life she’s mourning, from her family’s home in London, to the birth of her children, to the year she met her English husband at Cambridge, to her childhood in Colombo; all the while learning the difficult balance between the almost unbearable reminders of her loss and the need to keep her family, somehow, still alive within her.
When she was in high school, a terrible accident fractured her family, and the only relief Kirsten could find was carving tiny lines into her skin, burying her pain in her flesh. The pain she caused herself was neat and manageable compared to the emotional pain that raged inside.
She was coping. Or so she thought.
But then, eight years later, on the night she expects her long-time boyfriend to propose, Kirsten learns he’s been secretly seeing her best friend. Desperate to escape her feelings, she reaches for the one thing that gives her a sense of control in the midst of chaos.
But this time the cut isn’t so tiny, and it lands her in the psych hospital. Within hours of being there she knows she can’t stay—she isn’t crazy, after all. But she can’t go back to the life she knew before either.
So when her pastor mentions a treatment program on a working ranch, Kirsten decides to take him up on the offer and get away from it all. But the one thing she can’t escape is herself—and her shame.
The ranch is home to a motley crew, each with a lesson to teach. Ever so slowly, Kirsten opens herself to embrace healing—even the scarred places that hurt the most. Mercy begs her to remember the past … showing her there’s nothing that cannot be redeemed.
Kiera Van Gelder’s first suicide attempt at the age of twelve marked the onset of her struggles with drug addiction, depression, post-traumatic stress, self-harm, and chaotic romantic relationships-all of which eventually led to doctors’ belated diagnosis of borderline personality disorder twenty years later.
The Buddha and the Borderline is a window into this mysterious and debilitating condition, an unblinking portrayal of one woman’s fight against the emotional devastation of borderline personality disorder. This haunting, intimate memoir chronicles both the devastating period that led to Kiera’s eventual diagnosis and her inspirational recovery through therapy, Buddhist spirituality, and a few online dates gone wrong. Kiera’s story sheds light on the private struggle to transform suffering into compassion for herself and others, and is essential reading for all seeking to understand what it truly means to recover and reclaim the desire to live.
Book Title: The Buddha and the Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, and Online Dating
Author: Kiera Van Gelder
One day, TV talk show host O’Donnell (Kids Are Punny), aka Rosie, impulsively left a phone message for a pregnant, 14-year-old girl, whose tragic story of rape she had learned about at the New Jersey adoption agency she funds. Within days, the girl, Stacie, called back. Rosie introduced herself and offered to help the girl in any way she could. “And as I said those words, it was like a shell breaking open or a bird coming out,” writes O’Donnell. “I said hello and a crack came, and we all fell in, straight into looking-glass land.” What follows is an enormously powerful story about the mystery of identity, about how forces strong enough to shatter one person can make another shine like a diamond. Rosie chronicles her increasingly obsessive phone and e-mail relationship with a poor, broken kid who comes to show her that beneath her gifts of humor, fame, money and even love, she is still the child who lost her mother and is calling out to her. But what makes this brief book extraordinary by any standard is that it captures the way a core self, a true I, can appear in the midst of the most broken life. In the kind of lean, clean, witty prose that comes only with complete honesty, Rosie imparts some unexpected truths. Readers will come away persuaded that the road of obsessiveness can sometimes lead to the palace of wisdom, that faith and grace are real. Those who declare this merely a sexual “coming-out” story (there are passing references to dating a woman and to Rosie’s partner, Kelli) need a heart and brain transplant. Here, Rosie offers us an unsentimental and utterly real tale about the power of love.
I moved the bent bottle cap; it tingled, almost pleasant. I felt a raindrop on my leg. I looked up to a cloudless sky. Then another drop, I looked down, and saw it was my arm. I was a bloody mess, red, vibrant, alive, and flowing. I ran into my house. My dad was at work, my siblings out playing with friends. It was just me. I went upstairs and washed the cuts out with the bubbly stuff Mrs. Ellard always used; I found some Band-Aids and Neosporin; I put them on too. Then I was finished, all cared for and cleaned up.
My wounds became words; they screamed out what could not be spoken. The pain on the outside reflected the pain on the inside. I felt one with myself, finally.
For Hannah Westberg, life has been one big emotional roller coaster. As a girl, her mother was in and out of mental hospitals, so when it was her turn to visit the psych ward following a suicide attempt the summer after eighth grade, she had an idea of what she was in for. But that was only the beginning of Hannah’s journey.
Over the next five years, Hannah has engaged in dangerous behaviors–from pill popping and excessive dieting to cutting–and paid a high price. Her depression, self-harm, and suicidal tendencies have landed her in rehab and therapy and with a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. But though she may have a label for her mental illness and tools for coping, for Hannah, life is still something she takes one day at a time.
Before she turned twenty, Jessica Gordon was raped by the woman entrusted to protect her and nearly killed by her brother, but those events paled in comparison to the life-and-death struggles she faced for the next twenty-five years. In Dr. Marc A. Zimmer and N.R. Mitgang’s powerful biography, “The Mirror Lied,” readers of all ages and interests will find this narrative spellbinding. Told in Jessica’s voice, and based on extensive interviews with her, the authors reveal one woman’s lifetime of pain and struggle. Woven throughout this story is important information about the habits and motivations of those trapped in the world of eating disorders, as well as assessments to help readers determine if they, or someone they love, suffer an eating disorder. Whether readers are physicians, psychotherapists or academics, teenagers or parents, this is a story that must be read.
Willow is nineteen, naive, and Mormon. She genuinely sucks at having relationships with the opposite sex, thanks to her daddy issues-as in she has a dad and wishes she didn’t. Her only perfect relationship is with her best friend, Jo. But when Willow and Jo fall for the same guy, Willow finds herself friendless and falling in love with a drug addict. Feeling confused, guilty, and alone, she turns to cutting herself as a way to cope. Snowflake Obsidian presents the memoir of one girl’s transformation and gradual shift from the cocoon of a protected religious culture to the wider world and a deeper understanding the many faces of love. As Willow steps into the world outside her religious ideals, she finds herself in situations she’d never imagined: getting a body piercing at a parlor full of sex toys; purchasing the morning-after pill for a friend who had been raped; and attending a support group for co-dependents. She puts all her faith in a snowflake obsidian stone when she can’t cope with her depression. She lives with her boyfriend while trying to remain abstinent. Willow’s journey into the world illuminates her dark side-which in turn fully allows her to know the light. Her intelligent and humorous voice shares her story with a straightforward blend of nostalgic observance and cynical optimism in this witty memoir of life, love, and learning.
State of Arizona, County of Maricopa, Affidavit: “Patient is a thirty-six-year-old Caucasian female admitted on a court-ordered evaluation secondary to her refusal to eat or drink and having to be fed by a feeding tube. Patient’s admit weight is sixty-five pounds. She is 5’ 7”. Her glucose level is life threatening at forty. Her electrolyte levels are abnormal. She is clearly in a compromised medical situation. In spite of being emaciated and malnourished, patient considered herself as “medium or over-medium” in size. Patient also admitted frequent nightmares and flashbacks related to sexual abuse that happened to her during her pre-teen years, admits being very concerned about symmetry and perfection, and counts in equal series of threes to calm herself down. The calorie count for the last twenty-four hours was zero.”
A raw, poignant, and often hilarious look inside the troubled life and mind of an American comic icon
From his harrowing childhood filled with physical and emotional abuse, to a lifetime of alcoholism and self-mutilation, psychiatric hospitalizations and misdiagnoses, to the peak of fame and success as the longest-tenured cast member of Saturday Night Live (where his hilarious dead-on impressions of Bill Clinton, Dick Cheney, Chris Matthews, and a hundred other prominent figures ushered him to the peak of stardom), Darrell Hammond delves into the darkest corners of his life, both in front of and behind the camera, with brutal honesty and fierce comic wit.
Book Title: God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live, and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem
Author: Darrell Hammond
Purpose for the Pain is the inspiring story of a young woman’s battles through addiction, depression and self-mutilation. In heartbreaking detail and poetic outpourings, Renee Yohe (the inspiration behind the non-profit movement, To Write Love On Her Arms) chronicles her journey from self destruction to new life. Over four years of journal entries, she takes readers through her deepest moments of despair to the hope on the other end. Renee’s story is a light of possibility to anyone who feels trapped by darkness.
Emma Forrest, a British journalist, was just twenty-two and living the fast life in New York City when she realized that her quirks had gone beyond eccentricity. In a cycle of loneliness, damaging relationships, and destructive behavior, she found herself in the chair of a slim, balding, and effortlessly optimistic psychiatrist—a man whose wisdom and humanity would wrench her from the dangerous tide after she tried to end her life. She was on the brink of drowning, but she was still working, still exploring, still writing, and she had also fallen deeply in love. One day, when Emma called to make an appointment with her psychiatrist, she found no one there. He had died, shockingly, at the age of fifty-three, leaving behind a young family. Reeling from the premature death of a man who had become her anchor after she turned up on his doorstep, she was adrift. And when her all-consuming romantic relationship also fell apart, Emma was forced to cling to the page for survival and regain her footing on her own terms.
The author of Damaged tells the story of the Dawn, a sweet and seemingly well-balanced girl whose outward appearance masks a traumatic childhood of suffering at the hands of the very people who should have cared for her. Dawn was the first girl Cathy Glass ever fostered. Sweet and seemingly well balanced girl, Dawn’s outward appearance masked a traumatic childhood so awful, that even she could not remember it. During the first night, Cathy awoke to see Dawn looming above Cathy’s baby’s cot, her eyes staring and blank. She sleepwalks—which Cathy learns is often a manifestation in disturbed children. It becomes a regular and frightening occurrence, and Cathy is horrified to find Dawn lighting a match while mumbling it’s not my fault in her sleep one night. Cathy discovers Dawn is playing truant from school, and struggling to make friends. More worryingly she finds her room empty one night, and her pillow covered in blood. Dawn has been self-harming in order to release the pain of her past. When Dawn attempts suicide, Cathy realizes that she needs more help than she can give. Dawn’s mother eventually confides in her that Dawn was sent away to live with relatives in Ireland between the ages of 5 and 9, and Cathy soon realizes that the horrors Dawn was exposed to during this time have left her a very disturbed little girl.
Book Title: Cut: The true story of an abandoned, abused little girl who was desperate to be part of a family
Author: Cathy Glass
In Scars That Wound: Scars That heal, you’ll walk alongside Jackie, whose arms are marked with reminders of the painful journey she thought she had to take alone. Self-injury is inflicted to deal with stressful situations or traumatic memories; to temporarily ease fears, loneliness, and anxiety; or even as a coping mechanism to turn to again and again. There is a way out of this world of pain. Jesus truly cares-his scars prove it. He’s waiting to help heal your wounds and the wounds of the people you care about.
Book Title: Scars That Wound, Scars That Heal: A Journey Out of Self Injury (Live Free)
Author: Jan Kern
Welcome to self-injury.net. We are a support community for self-harmers and also provide information on self-harm, creative works, media lists, lists of resources (helplines, textlines, mental health apps, therapists, etc.), etc. We focus on self-injury but a number of other mental health issues are included.