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    • Alexi Laiho, the vocals and lead guitarist for the melodic death metal band Children of Bodom has stated before in interviews that he used to cut himself and has dealt with other means of self-harm since then such as alcoholism.

      In a December 2007 interview he was asked about the name of his album Blooddrunk. He stated, "The song 'Blooddrunk', for example, is about when you're addicted to spill around blood and this doesn't necessarily mean stupid shit like cutting yourself what I used to do. I mean, I don't do that shit anymore but I used to fucking cut myself, you know? But it's also in other ways, like within the last two years I have fucking hurt myself more than ever and I figured that I have some fucking addiction to hurt myself so bad (laughs) and that's what the song is about." In an interview with UK's Metal Hammer magazine about a month later he says that he used to cut himself "ten years ago" which would be around 1998 or earlier. The specific quote is, "[Blooddrunk] about being addicted to spilling your own blood. When I was younger, ten years ago I used to cut myself and all that shit. It's not necessarily just about cutting yourself but about other things you do to yourself and you don't know why." In a January 2007 interview with Lucemfero he again talks about Blooddrunk and it's title song, "I think the whole topic of that song revolves around self-destruction, and just somewhat being addicted to hurting yourself. That's what it's about."

      The same 2007 Metal Hammer article talks about Alexi's past. Alexi states that he had been depressed from the age of ten and that that while his childhood was "ok" by the time he was seventeen or eighteen he was cutting himself and dealing with serious suicidal ideation. He sees the potential risk he put himself at and that he could potentially have cut a tendon or otherwise have disabled himself in a way that could have prevented him from playing guitar. Self-harm was a means of dealing with the suicidal ideation, relieving the pressure. Alex discusses his suicide attempt at the time, an overdose on pills and whiskey, which lead to his stomach being pumped and time in a psychiatric hospital. He also talks about another hospitalization as a result of suffering a nervous breakdown. That hospitalization lead him to realize he never wanted to be hospitalized like that ever again and to accomplish that he had to get better. At the time of the interview he says of his recovery, "Yeah, I guess I'm pretty much better now."

      "Well, I used to cut myself and I was aware of what I was doing. I don't do that shit anymore but I did used to do that shit when I was 17 and 18. But now, looking back, it looks like the stupidest thing ever, but back in the day I just didn't care. I mean if I'd have cut a tendon I wouldn't be sitting here now because I wouldn't be able to play guitar, or if I had hit a vein ..."

      "I genuinely wished I was dead. For example, when I was in the car, I would wish that I'd crash and die. One time - and I guess it could have been a cry-for-help suicide attempt - I popped a load of pills and drank a bottle of whiskey. Obviously I didn't die but I was taken to a psychiatric hospital and had my stomach pumped. At least I guess so. I don't really remember that much because I was so out of it, so heavily sedated."

      Henkka Seppälä, the bassist of Children of Bodom, says that he didn't realize Alexi was depressed until he saw his cuts from self-harm and even then didn't take it too seriously until he head he'd been hospitalized for mental health issues. He also talked of Alexi's violent mood swings but said in the interview, "But since he was taken into hospital and taken care of he has been getting better all the time and he is a totally different person nowadays to the one he was over 10 years ago."

      While Alexi may no longer cut himself he still battles self-destructive demons. He has been hospitalized more than once -- including in 2013 -- for stomach issues relating to drinking. He's had to cancel shows and has even stated that he needs to "slow down" his drinking habit.

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    Guest RoyaleWithCheese

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    Damn... This is dark!:( I only knew his alkohol problems and that he's a pretty messed up person, but not the self harm parts.

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Welcome to self-injury.net. We are a support community for self-harmers and also provide information on self-harm, creative works, media lists, lists of resources (helplines, textlines, mental health apps, therapists, etc.), etc. We focus on self-injury but a number of other mental health issues are included.


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  • self-injury.net is a self-harm community and resource founded in 1999. Provides support, resources, and information on self-harm.
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