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    Draco Malfoy

    Emilie Autumn

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    • The violinist best known for her Opheliac album and her autobiographical novel, "The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls," which is a detailed account of bipolar disorder and the modern day psych ward in which she stayed after a suicide attempt. She compares and contrasts the modern day ward with the Victorian insane asylums. The chapters of the diary are culled directly from her own diary. One chapter of the novel is called "Cutting Diary" and contains several pictures of self-injury and an account of dealing with self-injury that alternates between handwriting and type. The words written underneath the chapter title are "Why am I not ashamed?" 

      "Taking my first good, hard look around the place I have just learned might be my home for quite some time, my eyes are instantly drawn to a long, thin string hanging from the wall beside my bed. Above this string is a sign reading "PULL ROPE TO CALL NURSE." My obvious thought is that the string could easily be used as a weapon of self-destruction, and, if I can't have a pencil, then what the fuck? Imagining for a moment that it could hold my weight, I envision myself knotting the string into a noose and pulling it down around my neck. Then, when the nurse is called as a result of my "pulling the rope," she will enter the room to find my body dangling ironically from the string. That, in a place like this, is pure comedy gold".

      One complete page of the "Cutting Diaries" says "pain, pain, pain, pain" in type over and over again with the words "If you're depressed, death is an upgrade" handwritten at the top.

      On Emilie's Opheliac album  the song Liar contains references to self-injury:

      I'm hurting you for your own good
      I'd die for you, you know I would
      I'd give up all my wealth to buy you back the soul you never sold

      I want to mix our blood and put it in the ground
      So you can never leave
      I want to win your trust, your faith, your heart
      You'll never be decieved

      Liar, liar, liar, liar
      Liar, liar, liar, liar
      Liar, liar, liar, liar
      Liar, liar, liar, liar
      Liar, Liar

      I want you to heal you pretty sweet 

      Emilie, even if not ashamed of her past with self-injury, does not advocate it. Her novel comes complete with a trigger warning saying, "This story is not meant to educate and entertain. The author does not advocate suicide or self-harm of any kind in any way whatsoever. If you are suffering from a mental illness and require counseling, please contact a certified professional. If you feel that you are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency hotline." 

    • Edited by Draco Malfoy

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    Nice analysis of "Liar."  Very interesting- I'm an Emilie Autumn fan/ Plague Rat and I've never thought of it that way before, so thank you.

    I think there's is a mistake in the lyrics, by the way.  I checked elsewhere and it's "I'd give up all my wealth to buy you back the soul you never sold."

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Welcome to self-injury.net. We are a support community for self-harmers and also provide information on self-harm, creative works, media lists, lists of resources (helplines, textlines, mental health apps, therapists, etc.), etc. We focus on self-injury but a number of other mental health issues are included.

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