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Content tagged 'Stephen Chbosky'

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  1. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.
    • 0 replies
    • 120 views


  2. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn’t really change the fact that you have what you have.
    • 0 replies
    • 264 views


  3. I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things we do now. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn’t.
    • 0 replies
    • 382 views


  4. It’s like when you are excited about a girl and you see a couple holding hands, and you feel so happy for them. And other times you see the same couple, and they make you so mad. And all you want is to feel happy for them because you know that if you do, then it means that you’re happy too.
    • 0 replies
    • 801 views


  5. I can’t think again. Not ever again. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that.
    • 0 replies
    • 348 views


  6. I know that I brought this all on myself. I know that I deserve this. I’d do anything not to be this way. I’d do anything to make it up to everyone. And to not have to see a psychiatrist, who explains to me about being ‘passive aggressive.’ And to not have to take the medicine he gives me, which is too expensive for my dad. And to not have to talk about bad memories with him. Or be nostalgic over bad things. I wish that God or my parents or Sam or my sister or someone would just tell me what’s wrong with me. Just tell me how to be different in a way that makes sense. To make this all go away. And disappear. I know that’s wrong because it’s my responsibility, and I know that things get worse before they get better because that’s what my psychiatrist says, but this is a worse that feels too big.
    • 0 replies
    • 308 views


  7.   
    Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines he wrote a poem
    and he called it ‘Chops’ because that was the name of his dog
    and that’s what it was all about
    and his teacher gave him an ‘a’ and a gold star
    and his mother hung it on the kitchen door and read it to all his aunts
    that was the year Father Tracy took all the kids to the zoo
    and he let them sing on the bus
    and his little sister was born with tiny toenails and no hair
    and his mother and father kissed alot
    and the little girl around the corner sent him a valentine signed with a row of x’s and he had to ask his father what the x’s meant
    and his father always tucked him in bed at night
    and was always there to do it
    Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines he wrote a poem
    and he called it ‘autumn’ because that was the name of the season
    and that’s what it was all about
    and his teacher gave him an ‘a’ and asked him to write more clearly
    and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because of the new paint
    and the kids told him that Father Tracy smoked cigars
    and left them in the pews
    and sometimes they would burn holes
    that was the year his sister got glasses with thick lenses and black frames
    and the girl around the corner laughed when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
    and the kids told him why his mother and father kissed alot
    and his father never tucked him in bed at night
    and his father got mad when he cried for him to do it
    Once on a piece of paper torn from his notebook he wrote a poem
    and he called it ‘Innocence: a question’ because that was the question about his girl
    and that’s what it was all about
    and his professor gave him an ‘a’ and a strange steady look
    and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door because he never showed it to her
    that was the year Father Tracy died
    and he forgot how the end of the Apostle’s Creed went
    and he caught his sister making out on the back porch
    and his mother and father never kissed or even talked
    and the girl around the corner wore too much makeup
    that made him cough when he kissed her but he did anyway because that was the thing to do
    and at 3am he tucked himself into bed - his father snoring loudly
    that’s why on the back of a brown paper bag he tried another poem
    and he called it ‘Absolutely Nothing’
    because that’s what it was all about
    and he gave himself an ‘a’ and a slash on each damned wrist
    and he hung it on the bathroom door because this time he didn’t think he could reach the kitchen.
    • 0 replies
    • 417 views

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