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You can’t always be strong. Tonight’s where I lost it. My strenght failed me, I fell into tears, and my old ways. I couldn’t take this never ending pain, that’s constantly eating away at me. II lost the fight. The fight between myself and my emotion. The fight between myself and my pain. The fight between myself and my blade. I have no idea how long I can keep this up… There must be some way, to stop feeling. To stop feeling pain, and every terrible thing. Even if it’s only for a little while. There must be a way… Do you know the way?
“Why’d you do that?” Or, “How could you do that?” Questions we get asked all the time if people see our scars, or cuts, or markings of any sort, and they’ve figured out the truth. So, what do you tell them? Spill the beans? Or just make up some story, “Oh, um, long story, and you would only get it if you’ve done this” kind of thing? I just tell people that I’m overwhelmed, cover myself, and walk away. But, how are you supposed to deal with that? I mean, no one really would understand unless they’ve self-injured. For now, lets just call them, um, SI virgins, sure, why not? SI virgins don’t really understand the pressure, and the taking-under kind of feeling you get when you don’t self harm. They don’t understand that release, that beauty that we can see through it. Pain scares them, while pain comforts us. Blood grosses them out, while blood frees us. So, how do you answer the question, “Why’d you do that?” or “How could you?!” I just walk away.