Do I Ever Want To Stop...?
With as many times as I have asked myself this question, you’d think I’d have a sure answer by now. I don’t. I’m not sure if I want to stop self harming. What am I supposed to do when I stop? How will I get those feelings back, the feelings of release, without harming? What else is there? But on the other hand, I know that I am destroying my arm, hips, stomach, and legs. I know that it is not good for me. I know that I will have these embarrassing scars forever, and I know that I will always be making up excuses for cuts, scars, and burns. I don’t like the questions, but I love the pain. I don’t like the scars, but I love the cuts. What to do when you find yourself ripped in half by your own devices?
Person [female, age 16, began to SI at age 8, high school student]