Sometimes I think about it, and I'm trying.
It changes day to day. Some days I want to stop cutting, I never want to pick up another blade again. But most of the time I want to cut so badly because I’m trying not to anymore.
I guess when it comes down to it I want to stop, but not for me. I want to stop for the people who seem to care about me. They hurt when I hurt myself, so I’m trying not to make them feel that way. I never wanted my cutting to hurt anyone else, but when they found out it stopped being just me that was hurt by this. I guess it should have made a difference, but I still feel completely worthless so frequently that I relapse.
Seeing their pain, though, is enough to make me want to stop again - for a little while, at least.
Person [female, age 16, began to SI at age 10, singer]