Lately I have been telling myself that I do not want to stop cutting. I pretty much gave up. I didn’t want to try. Giving up seems so much easier! Am I right? But for me, cutting is also my enemy. It interferes with my therapy and recovery. I want to be a therapist when I am older. I can’t be cutting as a therapist. And I shouldn’t want to cut no matter who I become. For me, cutting feels good. And I normally only regret the fact that I didn’t make them deeper. I know in the long run, it is bad for me and isn’t truly helping. It is taking me deeper into my depression and impulsivity. So my answer is pretty two-sided. So, I try to make a pro and con list. The pros of CONTINUING to cut are: release, control, and the view of the cuts on my arms. The pros of STOPPING cutting are: recovery, no scars, better future. The cons of CONTINUING cutting: scars, long sleeves all the time, paranoid about mom finding out, therapy issues. The cons of STOPPING cutting: I will have to try harder, fighting the urge, not actually seeing the blood or the cuts.
After making a list of pros and cons, try to decide.
And also, why make a decision right away? It is a bumpy road. I have to constantly remind myself that. This won’t go away over night. So tell yourself “TODAY I am not going to cut (or self harm in any way)” It doesn’t even have to be TODAY it can be “THIS SECOND I am not going to selfharm”. Right there you are deciding to stop self harm. The urge won’t go away. But the action can go away. You decide.
Person [female, age 16, began to SI at age 14, high school student]