[female, age 24, began to SI at age 16 1/2]
By Draco Malfoy,
These days I do and it pisses me off. I need the pain afterwards, but the pain during disrupts me. I still do it, because I have to. Back when I started years ago I didn’t feel pain. I knew it was there, but it didn’t seem to matter. The cuts would then start to hurt about half an hour later, and get worse during the day. I don’t know if that was dissociating. The main thing I remember was that each time I looked at the blade while I was cutting, I couldn’t see it because my sight became blurry. When I looked at something else it was ok. I had no control over that, but I really didn’t care.
Person [female, age 24, began to SI at age 16 1/2]