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    do you have any rituals?


    • my ritual is to keep my kit in my nightstand in a little makeup bag, I pour myself a drink then lie on my bed (no tv, no lights, no music, nothing) and begin to cut, once I feel relieved (usually when blood has begun to dry). I clean up and go back to normal.

    • Person [female, age 20, began to SI at 13, art student]
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    Guest XxJustAnotherGirlxX

    Posted · Report

    whenever i cut (or used to anyway) i would cut four times, right next to each other. it always had to be four, or sometimes eight, but always four. dont know why tho… and i also would swallow like 4-6 vicodin after. i guess i had a thing for the number four, and even numbers.

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    Guest xX_chick_wit_da_face_Xx

    Posted · Report

    I have to do it on my thighs. I buy those giant packages of disposable shaving razors and break the blades from that. Then I lock myself in the bathroom and turn off all the lights, put snuff by slipknot on, and let the situation engulf me.

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    i keep my razors in a small envelope inside a book i use to chronicle my incidents. ad i have a roll of surgical tape in my nightstand drawer, next to the book. when i injur, i draw the curtain, light candles and incense, turn off the light and sit on my bed to do it. sometime i indulge in alcohol, but mostly not. i always do at least 15 slices, right next to and on top of each other. then i wait a minute for the blood to appear. when i have been bleeding for 3 minutes, i will lick it off and pat it dry, then tape it up. anywhere from 15 minutes up to the next day, i pull the tape off. the cuts re-open and the blood comes again. and i put the tape iinside the book i use to write in about my incidents.

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    StraightLacedFreak

    Posted · Report

    I burn.

    I miss my ritual. I made a soundtrack for it, about 90 mins long on a CD I named "Darkness."  I lock myself in a room and lay out the candle, the steel blade, hydrogen peroxide, and gauze. 

    With the first song I heat up the blade and warm up the spot that I've chosen to burn, back and forth over the flame, then onto the skin. The intervals grow longer and longer until I've burned down several layers. At my worst, I was burning well after I'd hit the meat. That would go on until the moment when the endorphins kicked in and I was soaring, and feeling calmer. By then, the last songs of the soundtrack would be playing, down from the crescendo of the middle of the soundtrack, to songs that were quieter, slower. 

    Then I'd wash the site really well, pour hydrogen peroxide on it, sometimes Neosporin, and wrap with gauze. Self care lasted weeks. 

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    hands_away

    Posted · Report

    Yeah in a sense I can call my acts "rituals"

     

    Most of the time it takes place when I'm alone (even though last time I wasn't), and two factors have to be here for me to start cutting: music, and alcohol. I can rejoin what StraightLacedFreak said about the "playlist stuff". I don't have an exact playlist for cutting but when I'm about to do it I usually listen to the same songs or albums, music that have been important in my life.

    The "alcohol" factor is what bothers me the most because I haven't read (yet) people talking about it while self-injuring. It seems that a majority of people don't need to drink to hurt themselves.

    I don't know if I could hurt myself while sober, it has happened but a long time ago.

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