[female, age 20, began to SI at age 15, college student]
I go back in my room and have a seat on the floor, usually propped up against my bed or the door. I have a little tupperware box that I keep everything in that the cover never fits right on (I got it from the dollar store). There’s some stuff in there that I never look at, but chances are, I’ll pull out the steak knife, the isopropyl alcohol, the roll of toilet paper (I know its crass, but its absorbent and affordable), the elastic bandage, and perhaps the most important part of the kit - a bottle of the perfume I used to wear in high school. When I smell it, it reminds me of the absolute worst and very best moments that I had in those four years - and the more emotional I feel (whatever emotion it is), the better I feel when I SI. After I get everything together, I put on some music (Nine Inch Nails and Elliott Smith are usually the best) and cut, making sure to keep the bleeding under control. I use a lot of alcohol to keep the cuts clean. But as soon as I start, it’s different every time. At that point, there is no ritual, I just do what feels right.
Person [female, age 20, began to SI at age 15, college student]