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    Draco Malfoy

    [female, age 19, began to SI at age 16 at the latest, college student (full time)]


    • A good friend of mine SIed for years, but says she’s more or less stopped. Not willingly, but her father threatened to kick her out of the house and completely cut off her anti-depressant medications, which would make her even worse. She’s gone from carving deep words on her arms to just scraping her wrists against paper towel and toilet paper dispensers. When I first learned she SIed, it made me feel so much better. I knew it wasn’t good for her, and I honestly tried to get her to stop – I succeeded partially, as she cut herself less frequently and less deeply until I graduated, at least – but it was so good to know that I wasn’t crazy, I wasn’t the only person in the world hurting myself.

    • Person [female, age 19, began to SI at age 16 at the latest, college student (full time)]
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    beated_down.

    Posted · Report

    My friends Bri, Juilia, and danielle do. SO does my supposed friend cassie, as well as my ex-boyfriend/kinda boyfriend Brad… My former bestfriend too.
    The former bestfriend originally gave me the idea… I never thought I’d do it myself, but one day I was just sick of crying and I scratched at my wrist with a pen-clip…

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    Quite a few of my friends do. That is how I got the ‘idea’ to do it. At the moment I know about 4 people who do it/have done it.

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    xtime-to-dancex

    Posted · Report

    My girlfriend used to SI. I guess that was where the idea came from. She doesn’t any more, but I still do, and she doesn’t know. She thinks I’ve stopped, and I hope to keep it that way. And I think my cousin SI’s too. But she doesn’t take it seriously. She’s more.. proud of it, and showed off her cut to me. I suppose there’s also a good side to how relaxed she seemed about it, I told her what I did (reluctantly) and she seemed laid-back about it. I just hope she can keep a secret, haha.

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    Beautiful.Lies

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    My best friend started in middle school. She is controling it now better then before, but as the years progressed she found out I did it too. It is scary now that i look back it. In high school you would think girls would have sleep overs where they would watch movies and pain their nails. Not me and her. We’d cut in front of each other. It is very… depressing thinking back on it…

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    lackofcolor

    Posted · Report

    I have a good friend who self-injured… I was so worried about her. We talked to eachother about our depression, and how we couldn’t talk to anyone, let alone our parents. She introduced me to cutting. She actually brought a razor blade to school to give me. I actually turned it in to the school counselor… Secretly, I was just starting to cut. I kept on encouraging her to get help, and to try and stop. “you can find relief in a better way”, I told her. Thankfully, because of me, she has stopped, and got help from her parents. I can’t stop though. I guess I am truly the one with the problems. I’m such a hypocrite.

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    I fear for Brogans life most of the time, he is most precious out of everyone to me, Tia used to but swears she stopped, the twins Chris and Gabe both do but they shun me because I struggle with other things as well, Hailee burns herself with incense to try to burn away the pain, Chaz does, but that’s no surprise, Shawn does, she carves shapes, Britney does but doesn’t acknowledge the fact that she does.

    Here I thought I was a freak. The way my sister looks at me, I think I still am. She has no idea the thoughts that go through my head, or the scars I’ve inflicted since she last saw me.

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    My friend kim does but she doesn’t make me do it or make me want to do it. When i started i didn’t even know she did it. i found out one day when i saw eraser burn marks on her arms. I know what they look like because thats what i started doing first. but when i asked her about it she told me then i told her about mine.

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    Me and my friend Kathleen had both started cutting in middle school. In sophomore year, I saw one of her scars and asked, she denied it at first, but then I rolled up my sleeve. She’s stopped now, but I’m still unfortunately cutting :(

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    There was a couple of kids at my school a while back, a boy and a girl. One day the boy announced he was trying to ‘Go Goth’ and carved the word ‘Help’ into his arm. He would proudly display it to us whenever he could, but would hide it from the teachers by wearing a sweat band. It was well known he had several emotional problems, and I knew he was cutting not so much to get our attention but to express the fact that something was wrong and he wanted us to help him through it. He kept saying we should all ‘Go Goth’ with him. A part of me wanted to more than anything. I had been secretly harming myself for about two years and I was amazed at his honestly and enticed by the feeling of finally being understood. The girl was enticed too, not for the reasons I was, but because she wanted some of the attention he was getting. She brought in all these pins in a case as if she was some kind of pro and would openly cut herself till someone would say something to her. then she would just smile. She made me feel ashamed, like because I cut too I was just seeking attention. I wasn’t. I made every effort to hide what i was doing from my peers and never told a soul about it. Both the boy and the girl were kicked out of school. I saw the girl a few months ago and she’s really grown up. I never saw the boy again. A mutual friend of ours let me see a letter he had written her. He attempted suicide at least once and had gotten in to several physical relationships that he deeply regretted. He was also still hurting himself. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice in keeping silent.

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    An old friend of mine started self-harm when she was about 11/12 and has been doing it on and off and she’s 14 now. my best friend used to self ham but stopped a few months ago. I cut with her once but that was to make us ‘blood sisters’ it sounds stupid and reckless but it was just an idea. I have just started recently but I have tried before though. It took me a while to understand why my two friends did what they did but I never tried to stop them. They saw it as a coping method but also for one of them it was for the attention she wanted.

     x—x

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    I’d already been cutting for a year when I found out my best friend did too. We only cut together once and I went deeper than I ever had before because I didn’t want to seem like a wimp. After that I’ve continued to get deeper and deeper. She’s stopped now and I’ve tried to many times but I just can’t.

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    My friend told me right before I started. I don’t think it was that though. I think it was just that I was looking for a way out of the pain.

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    i moved up to college this year and got really close to another girl on my course an confessed to her i struggled with my eating and things and then i found out she used to have an ED and used to slef injure …..but then when i started to harm myself i felt i could tell her which i can and even tho she trys helping me by like telling me to cut my legs rarther than my arms cause there eayer to hide and stuff she still blames her self for me starting cause she says “if ud never seen my scars then maybe you would have never tryed it”…..its not true though i think without her things would have just been worse so im glad she used to cut because she knows were im coming from though and says pointless telling me to stop cause it wont work i have to find that realisation my self…….

    <3 you strawbs <3

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    Guest I am me

    Posted · Report

    Do You Know Anybody Else Who Self-Injures? Did They Have Any Influence On Your Behavior?

     

    I know of two other people who have self-injured. One says she has stopped and I haven’t asked the other one…

    I guess that’d be where I got the idea from, so they probably have had some influence on me. But I was pretty messed up when I started, so who knows?

    The know that I do it and have encouraged me to stop and try to get help. It is nice to have someone care but it is so hard for me to stop. One of the reasons I’ve stopped is because they would notice the newest cuts (unless I tried really hard to hide them) and they ask me if I have cut. I don’t really want to disappoint them…

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    I know about 5 other people who self harm.  None of them have good home lives and though they’ve never actually told me, I managed to figure it out.  They had no influence on my behavior because I discovered what they did after I started self injuring.

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    Guest exiledstar

    Posted · Report

    I changed schools after 6th grade, but I kept contact with my two elementary best friends. Sophomore year of high school, I learned that they were both cutters. I didn’t think I’d do it too, but one day I got really depressed and tried it, partly to know if it really helps, partly to try to understand my friends, and partly so that they wouldn’t think I’m a wuss. After I started SI, I understood them more.  We used to talk about SI a lot, but there was a point when we all stopped. I relapsed, but I never had the guts to talk to them about it again.

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    Guest iforgot?

    Posted · Report

    There was a boy named Mat that I used to be involved with who cut with a paper clip. I knew he did it, he showed me the cuts once, and telling me I couldn’t hurt him more than he hurt himself. He asked me if I cut and I told him I didn’t, I was too scared. But I kept thinking about it. I was feeling alone and vulnerable. So one day I tried it, a shard from a glass my sister broke pulled across my wrist. Since then, I’ve switched to a small knife and more recently a carving knife because the glass wasn’t sharp enough to make a good clean cut. I don’t cut on my arms anymore either because I’m a dancer and it would be impossible to hide. I make cuts across the left side of my ribs, but never deep enough to bleed. I’m too scared of the pain, but I love the feeling. There’s no better release than when I SI and for some sick reason, I love the scars. I don’t talk to Mat anymore, but I definitely have to give him credit for my SI. Funny thing is, I used to beg him to stop cutting. I’m such a hypocrite.

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    Guest Squidge

    Posted · Report

    I knew that both my best friends did it. I didn’t start because of them- I knew long before they told me. But I didn’t understand it completely. Then I started avoiding mirrors because every time I saw myself I felt like I wanted to rip my own face off, I hated myself to much. It was like I just started getting urges to do it before I even started. Bizarre. So I ended up burning my leg with the flat of a knife that I would heat up over a lighter. I will always remember the looks of pain and defeat on their faces when I told them I did it. I’ve never regretted being so weak in my life more than at that moment- even after I failed to kill myself. I’m sorry Rhiannon and I’m so very sorry Sasha.

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    I found out that a close friend of mine also cut which was when I told her I did it too. This was about one month after I did it the first time. She hadn’t actually cut herself yet because she was scared to hurt herself, but I recently found out she actually started making it bleed. I do it, too, but it’s hard for me to hear a close friend of mine is doing the same thing i am. 

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    Bubbling  Boiling  Thoughts

    Posted · Report

    yes. she used to be my best friend.iprobably  influenced her actually. she found out about a year after i started cutting, and she started cutting later on too. once or twice we cut together, it was like a weird bonding experiance.i still do but i don’t know if she still does anymore.

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    whitewolf16

    Posted · Report

    i tried helping my friend when he told me he would SI, i tried being there for him. But then i started to understand why he did something like SIing. And soon i was doing the same thing, and I have been SIing for more then a year. its was what opened me up to SIing and i dont even have my friend to help me through it now.

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    After I started secondary school, I met this boy called Luke who never actually cut but made it out to feel so good. Ohe just kept pushing and pushing the idea in to my head until one day I cut. I wish I never had. Almost seven years later I still have problems with it. I’ve never cut in front of everyone and the idea of showing people my cuts or scars makes me feel sick. I find i really uncomfortable and disrespectful and even embarrassing when I see people with c
    New Cuts out. When people show everyone I just know that they’ve only SIed in order to do so. I find it triggering and I’d never want to make someone else feel like that. I only ever support or give advice to, never glorify. .

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    Cutting to attention seek is disrespectul to people who have a genuine issue with SIing. I’d never show people cuts just for attention etc and anyone who did would get stern words from me.

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    Yes. A few people actually. Only two whom i’m close to. The first person I told, told me minutes later that she also did. But neither of us cut to the point where we’re bleeding excessively; I haven’t had the guts to do it yet, though it’s been incredibly difficult lately. Anyway, she didn’t influence me, cause I SIed beforehand. She told me one of the times she did it and I just sat there wishing she wasn’t on vacation across the world and that there was something I could do about it. Makes me wonder what people thought when I told. The other person, one of my best friends also told me once I told her. She’d told me in the past that she cut once back in middle school but then came clean that night about more recent occurrences. Finding out that your close friends hurt themselves puts your situation in perspective. I’m sure there was an influcence behind me starting, but those people weren’t it.

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    I am not sure they would want their names here so I have changed them. I was friends with Sharon for years, since 5th Grade, we both just finished 7th grade, She started in  7th grade, I started in 6th. I know she does, and I am sure she knows I do. Sydney knows, and I feel terrible. At the beginning of 7th grade I found out, I was paranoid, what if they found out I did? I told on her, occasionally we show eachother the cuts but we have stopped. It is as if we do not wish to think about it. As if people will find out if we are close, for Sydney and Sharon

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Welcome to self-injury.net. We are a support community for self-harmers and also provide information on self-harm, creative works, media lists, lists of resources (helplines, textlines, mental health apps, therapists, etc.), etc. We focus on self-injury but a number of other mental health issues are included.

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