Really, it just made it worse.
Unfortunately I have been hospitalized before, a few times actually. The problem is that my time there only made my condition worse.
Before I was hospitalized the first time, I worked so hard to hide what I was doing. I wanted to be perfect - the perfect student, daughter, friend. Part of that perfect-ness was making sure that no one found out what I did to cope with life. After my Mom found my SI things, everything changed. The therapists told me I didn’t have to try to be perfect anymore, so I didn’t. I learned nothing in there, no coping skills - only how to do more damage (and maybe hide it better). It was like daycare, only we slept there, had no privacy, and weren’t allowed out for recess. When I got out, not only did I do more damage, but I stopped caring if I left a mess. Somehow everyone knew then that I had been inpatient and they called me crazy. The stigma that being hospitalized gave me was too much to take. I stopped caring and instead of trying to be perfect, I became incredibly self-destructive.
The pattern continued for a number of years, from age 16 to age 21. It wasn’t until I was taken to a treatment center that used something called Dialectical Behavior Therapy that my life began to get better. Best idea ever.
Person Feminine; 23; exact age began unknown (8?); College student