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  • BrokenGirlKJA

    SI Scars Screwing Me Over


    • On Thursday, 3 days away from school starting (Aug 1st), I was done with life and I finally decided that I was actually going to kill myself this time. So I grab a shaving razor (still in the plastic) and started cutting my wrist. Blood started coming out and I was very happy, although I was crying. I was planning on taking pills too but of course my mom only has to use the bathroom when serious stuff is happening. So yea. I didn't take pills sadly. So I go to the hospital and stuff. All the nurses and the police thought it was for attention (it wasn't) and then the doctor came in and she saw my wrist, she grabbed me and pulled me over to the sink and scrubbed my cuts really hard! trying to get the blood off. That freaking hurt! She saw my SCARS that I had and she flipped out and they wouldn't let me leave the hospital without going to a freaking behavioral health hospital. So I stayed there for 12 days instead of 5 because my Dr. over there kept screwing me over so I had to stay there 6 more freaking days. So it's been 13 days since I was released from the hospital and I just feel like sh*t, worse than before. I cut myself 2 days ago, and if I can't take life, which I am trying to hold on for as long as I can, then I can just overdose like I wanted to the first time. My mom has a box where she "locked" all the sharps and medicine in. She hasn't changed the code from the default 000 000 so I could kill myself any time!

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