…well since it was considered a “suicide attempt”. It was more of a learning experience rather than a healing one. At 17, I was forced against my will into a mental hospital for a week because I was considered a danger to myself due to SI. Since I was under 18 I was put into a children’s facility where all the mental illnesses were lumped together. I blame that experience for my strong dissociation that I can’t control anymore. I had to go from life-altering intense emotions, to feeling nothing to protect myself from the people in the hospital in a matter of seconds. Since then, this happens every time I get emotional now. The people that work there are very manipulative, they monitor everything you do, but pretend like they don’t so you trust them…then they try to appeal to your vulnerability to use it as a leverage in which to use against you until you bend to their will. I don’t know how someone that is suicidal would not become more suicidal after being in that place. It sure destroyed my hope in humanity. It makes me sad to know other children with mental illnesses have to go through that…especially for longer periods of time, in these mental hospitals.
Person [female, age 20, began to SI at age 11, college student]