Have I ever hurt myself in front of someone?
technical answer is no, i haven’t. but a lot of people (excluding my family) know that i SI.
last week, i betrayed a friend, not realizing what i had done until the words popped out of my mouth. at the same time, another friend was dealing with a breakup that left him uncharacteristically quiet at work. i had a scuffle with his ex a few days prior, so i went to work, where these two said friends were on duty, and i confronted the single guy. my razor was poised at my arm, and i asked him if i had upset him or pissed him off in the last few weeks. he told me to get the hell out of here with my threat and said, “wait for me in the kitchen!”
when he came back, he raked me over the coals and called me insane and stupid and said, “quite honestly, i don’t gve a f** what you F** do to yourself. but don’t you dare ever drag me into your insane shit threats again, do you understand? get some help, you f** queer!”
all i could do when confronted by the other friend, who i had betrayed, was cry and say i was sorry. she hugged me, told me she loved me and said, “go home. go to sleep. i’ll call you in the morning. i love you.”
i went home and cut myself really bad.
Person female, 39, began to SI @ 25/ baker