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    Draco Malfoy

    [female, age 19, began to SI at age 16 at the latest, college student (full time)]


    • I ripped out huge chunks of my hair in front of my high school marching band during practice. They knew it was stress, but they thought I overreacted – they didn’t realize it was the only way to cope. I’ve burnt myself in front of a couple of friends, too. They thought nothing of it, as I’m slightly masochistic, but I wasn’t doing it for pleasure. I was stressed, and I didn’t want to ruin everyone’s day, so I just burnt myself. The only time I’ve come close to being ‘caught’ is when my mom saw one of my more recent burns the other day. She asked what it was, and I just jerked away and said I had no idea. Fortunately for me I was PMSing, and the whole family knew, so she didn’t press it any further. I’ve also hurt myself in front of a friend who also SIs.

    • Person [female, age 19, began to SI at age 16 at the latest, college student (full time)]
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    Beautiful.Lies

    Posted · Report

    I would Self Injure myself a lot come to think of it in public… It seemed so easy to me… I always wore long sleeves … One time i was in English class sitting in the front row and I just had a safety pin under my sleeve and as I was looking up at the teacher I added a few cuts… Right in front of her face under the desk… No one noticed a thing… I regret that… It was stupid of me… I did several things like that… In school hall ways I’d dig my nails into myself and no one noticed… I’d even cut with a razor in front of my friends and all they said was next time I should vut a little more up my thigh (I had cut to low to wear shorts or a skirt without revealing my secret)

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    AliceUnderWater

    Posted · Report

    once, someone i cared about very much. he knew i needed to, there was no way around it, i was too stressed, too close to having to feel the pain my razor held at bay. he begged me to stop but i couldnt because he wouldnt leave and i needed to do badly. so i had to cut in front of him.

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    a couple days ago i had a breakdown and i began cutting my leg in my bathroom. my boyfriend was in the livingroom and thought it was suspious that i was in the bathroom for so long. after i got done with my cutting, i went to my room, he inspected the bathroom and saw the bloody tissue and blade that i threw in the trash can and confronted me about it. it was the first time he had ever seen me do that and i kept it hidden it from him for years. he freaked out at first, was confused, didnt know how to react. then he got angry at me for doing it and started treating me like i was some kind of crazy person. he got rid of sharp objects and stood up all night with me to make sure i didnt do it again. after i explained to him the reason why i did it i think he understood a little bit more, but i think he is still kinda freaked out about it.

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    When he first found out you cut what was his reaction? I ask this becuse my best friend and some one I love very much saw the red marks on my leg the day after i had cut. He pulled me aside and almost in tears asked my why I was cutting my self. I told him I just needed to. He made me promise to him that I will never cut my self again. I have not sience but that does not mean I do not think about it everyday. Do you think it is helthy to stop hurting your self for someone else or do you think i need to stop because i want to? I thought you could help me answer and understand this because of your situation. Here is my e-mail Samie2012atmsn.com I really hope you reply. Thank you.

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    Guest katelyn doe

    Posted · Report

    it was actually at my schools winter dance. the dance was nothing special – a million sixth graders, pocketfulls of seventh graders, &barely eny eighth graders. infact, my friends &i were the only eighth graders there. since we’re in middle school, our dance was held directly after school for two hours. i’d been having a horrible day.. i’d just found out that my best friend had got a girlfriend, &i’ve had feelings for him [my best friend] since april of last year. &the entire time we were at the dance, i saw how close they were. it destroied me. i actually had a razor with me [pathetic, i know] so i got it &carved a broken heart on my upper left arm. i had it hidden pretty well; it pretty much belnded in with the others on my arm. then, one of my friends saw it.. &my best friend saw it.. &i just felt like everyone was dissapointed with me. that was the night i realized that, no matter what i do, i cannot do anything right, or make anyone happy.

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    Guest Marilyn.

    Posted · Report

    I was hanging out with my girlfriend and we got into a huge fight. She knew I was a cutter, but didn’t think I would ever do it in front of her, After the fight she sat in a chair in the corner of my bedroom. I opened my jewelry box, where I hid my razor, and pressed the tiny piece of metal to my wrist and cut a single straight line. She looked over at me with tears in her eyes and asked me to put it away. I did and said I was sorry, feeling worse than I did before. We didn’t talk about it for the rest of the night. We recently were talking because we were having problems and she told me she was afraid to break up with me because she thought I would try to kill myself. Then she said that she can’t get the picture of me cutting myself in front of her out of her head. I feel so bad about it, and I’m never going to harm myself infront of anyone again.

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    I cover everything up far too well to be caught- I can’t risk it. Sometimes I wish someone would notice, to see if they would care, but I know it would be a domino effect and everyone would blow it out of proportion. Only one friend knows I have cut in the last year, and she has no idea how much I do..

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    I’ve only been caught a few times. The first time my sister saw the cuts on my lower leg she told my mom,
    I told her it was a shaving accident and she bought it. The second time was when my mom saw the cuts on my wrist, I told her some BS about how the cat did it, and she was like yeah right and she gave me this look like “yeah I know you did it” The only other time was when my brother saw the cuts on my leg and a weird brusie on my arm (I had hit my self with a really hevay wrench so it sort of left a square shaped bruise, I’m a freak I know..) anyway he went and told my mom and they came back and were all like grinning like they were about to get a really big show. Bottom line I didn’t explain, just said it was another accident. They all tease me about it now making dumb jokes and my brother says I did it for attention. They all think its a joke
    but it really doesn’t matter. I sort of hit my self a bunch a while back but I’ve only been cutting for a few monthes now, and even those cuts are like just scratches - they hardly bleed at all.
    I’m 17 going on 18 with no friends, no job, and no future. I am suicidal at times, but I know know one cares and anyway, I’m to old to be such a mess. I don’t think my cutting is like all the other peoples on here, I don’t think I have a problem, could some one with maybe more knowledge in the area tell me..
    I’m fine right? I’m not like these other people? theres nothing wrong with me right?
    I don’t have a problem……. right?

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    i have a few times. i used to carry razorblades to school and when i got stressed i ran to the bathroom and cut my wrist a few times. then my best friend came to check up on my and saw my wrist and stomach dripping blood. i’m sorry i caused her pain but not sorry i did it if that makes sense at all.

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    No, i could never ever do it in front of anyone.
    i have lots of times been in a room with someone when i have wanted to self harm in which case i snuck out and did it somewhere private.

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    Once my best friend (who is also a cutter) and I cut while we were in church. The sermon was kinda boring and we both carry razors in the back of our cell phones. It’s not like it was real deep or bloody, we just drew a few little things because we were bored.

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    Guest i_see_u

    Posted · Report

    …hey…if they dont care it’s fine. U r the one to care for yourself! And you say tha you r too old to be such a mess….bullshit…18years is nothing.I am 25 and i realize how baby i was just 10years ago. Life is just starting now. Anyway…when i was reading what u wrote i just so much wished u were in front of me so i can tell u stuff….anyway…it’s all on u and i believe u know whats right, it takes courage to admit the truth…this answers your last questions i think. wish u luck

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    i was caught by my dad one day and he told my mom. it was the scariest moment for me.

    a couple of years ago, my ex-boyfriend saw new ones that i made and got pissed and started ranting about stupid stuff that will happen to me if i kept cutting. haha.

    then my current boyfriend and some of my friends saw a crap load of cuts that i did. my boyfriend wants me to stop but i have to constantly keep telling him that it will take time…i can’t just stop at that exact moment. some of my friends are the same way but i just ignore them all…i don’t want to stop. i love the pain…

    i never really care if my friends see my cuts or scars but i would hate to have an adult see them. my parents think i’ve stopped and i wanna keep it that way without them getting the slightest hint of suspension…

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    Guest a helpless little girl

    Posted · Report

    i dont see how anyone can self harm in front of someone i find it the most personall thing ever i struggle to even let someone know i self harm never mind cut ect..in front of them….=/

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    Guest Harley

    Posted · Report

    I’d say I harm in front of my friends. I hit myself on tables and stuff at school when I need to, seemingly subconsciously, but they all know that I cut, so they watch me. Before now I’ve been really bad, and there’s this empty classroom that I go in when I need to be alone, so I was in there with a sharpener blade. Two of my friends came in and one restrained me (although she used to cut herself too) and the other took my blade and threw it away. I was already bleeding and my friend who was holding me was getting covered in my blood but she didn’t care. They sat me down and asked me why and I owned up to being suicidal, expecting them to get mad but they didn’t, they just talked me out of it.

    The only other time I’ve almost got caught is when I was at home alone and I was cutting and my boyfriend randomly turned up, so I answered the door without thinking and blood was running down my hand, but I told him it was food coloring.

    I despise every inch of myself for doing it, but at the same time, I love that I’ve owned up to this.

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    Guest Rabbit

    Posted · Report

    I have never cut in front of anyone before. Like a few of the others on here, I can’t even imagine doing that, as I always hide away to hurt myself. I’ve had people cut or burn in front of me, however, and it always drives me crazy and kills me emotionally. I know what it’s like to watch someone hurt themselves, knowing you can’t physically stop them, and it kind of makes it so I would never do that to someone else.

     There was one time when my ex and I were fighting, and I went in my room and closed the door. I had stolen a huge razor from the art room at school, and I was sitting there holding it, just staring at it deciding what to do. My ex walked in and though he’d never hurt me before, I seriously thought he was going to hit me. Honestly, I wished he would. He grabbed the razor away from me and threw it out by the railroad tracks behind my house. Needless to say, that did not help our fight.

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    yes, sort of….

    one time i just had a fight with my sister and i felt wild and i needed to calm down. i ran up to my room and took out my knife and ran it sssoooooo many times on the palm of my hand. i didn’t count how many. when i was done i put the blade away and rolled down my sleeve just as my dad walked in to tell me to apologize to my sister. i looked toward the floor when i thought he was looking somewhere else and i saw dark drops on the carpet. fourtunately he left a few moments later. it was such a close call. i don’t know if he suspected anythin. if he did, he would have told my mom, and she would have talked about it, but she didn’t so i assumed he never knew.

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    I knew this girl who cut herself during my music class. We had a supply teacher and we were just watching a movie like normally when the teacher isn’t there and the supply wasn’t paying too much attention. So this girl was sitting facing the back of the room, with her back to the classmates. She had a razorblade in her hand and she started cutting her left wrist. I knew it was deep because there was a lot of blood. I never cut that deep before. Anyway, a few of her friends tried to take the blade away from her but she assured him that it wasn’t a big deal. When he got his hands on the blade he was grossed out that there was blood on it and dripping on the floor. My friend that I was sitting beside was so freaked out that that girl was doing that to herself. She couldn’t look or watch or anything and she just thought that girl was crazy. I wasn’t freaked at all (of course cause I did it at the time) but I still tried not to look at what she was doing. When she was done the teacher started walking around and looked toward our section of the room so she just pulled down her sleeve and took the end in her palm and sat in a chair cross-legged. She hung her head slightly and didn’t say a word. I can’t beleive how desperate she must have been to do something like that in the classroom. I was so afraid and sad for her. I didn’t know her but I stil felt like I did, even though she had no idea that someone in her class cut themselves too. Aparently, this same girl had done a similar thing in another class. She had scissors in her hand and she started scratching her wrist with it I guess, I wasn’t there. Someone asked her what she was doing or why she was doing that, and she said, well, I have scissors so what else would I do – or something like that. The fact that a person that would hurt themselves where people were looking and paying attention astonishes me. I don’t think I could ever be desperate enough to take out a razorblade and just start cutting. I have contemplated doing something like that, well, so no one would see me, but I’ve never tried it.

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    I’ve never gotten caught for it, but during math class, my teacher was giving me a lot of crap, and I couldn’t let myself break down in front of the crap people in the room, so I shoved my hands in my bag and grabbed a razor blade and did quite a few on my hands. The bell rang unexpectantly and I had to quickly put it away and shove my hand in my pocket without her seeing. She was staring at me the whole time while I sat trying to get myself out of that mess.

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    The other day when i was cutting myself my boyfriend walked in on me, i didn’t’t hear him let himself into my house and he just appeared. He ran right over to me and tried to take the razor out of my hand and i started to struggle with him and he eventually got it off me. I was slightly drunk because i means i can do it better.  He then preceded to hold me down on the bed and wouldn’t let me get up. i was screaming at him to let me go and that i was okay now but he just kept me pinned there and said i wasn’t in the right state of mind to be aloud up yet. this really annoyed me because he doesn’t realize that is my way of dealing with things. Has something like this ever happened to anyone else?

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    Guest I am me

    Posted · Report

     

    • Have You Hurt Yourself In Front Of Anybody Else? Have You Ever Been Caught?
    •  
    •  
    • Yeah.
    •  
    • I have unfortunately hurt myself in front of a lot of people…
    • In church and a church function I put my hand up my sleeve and scratch… I don’t usually draw blood though
    • I’ve only cut a couple of times in class… Both times I used a sharpener blade that I carry with me. One time on my wrist. And the other time was on my arm.
    • Both times the teacher didn’t notice (which is a very good thing because almost no one knows about my self-harm)
    • Other times I’ve hit myself or banged my head against the wall… The teachers usually notice then (because of the sound) but I don’t think they think it is self-harm)
    • The closest I’ve come to being caught is when my mother knocked on my door and I had my blade in my hand and fresh cuts on my arm… I pulled down my sleeve and hid the blade.
    • And another time I had cuts on my thigh and I had to go out and bring in some stuff from the car. I was paranoid that they were going to notice blood dripping down my leg… 
    •  

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    MorbidWhispers

    Posted · Report

    my mum has caught me one time anf she started going off and she wanted to admitt me to the psych ward but she just went and got drunk instead. thank god

    me and my friend have cut together a few times we have even cut each other we were drunk at that time.

    i could never cut anybody if i was sober.

    i feel weird when i cut with her. but i guess its good because we stop each other from going to far.

    we usually agree on depths like fat muscle or whatever and how many cuts we can do.

    and if one does more or does it deeper the other person is aloud to match it this stops us from breaking our rules now.

    i know most people would never do it with someone. i never used to when i first started but its been years now

    and i need someone to stop me because i sure as hell cant.

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    Hey I’ve been cutting myself for almost a year now, its really hard to deal with. It breaks my heart that your family would respond like that, but since your so new to cutting and stuff get out while you can, don’t get in this, its twice as hard to get out, if you have any questions though I would love to answer them for you. I’m a little bit younger but I’m willing to help, people do care about you, don’t lose hope.

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    Guest crissy

    Posted · Report

    Well i have been a cutter for a while, not sure how long exactly. its kind of on and off whenever i’m really upset i will turn to the blade, but i usually just pull out my hair. anyway, i have really bad anxiety triggered by other people vomiting and i saw one of my friends vomit when she had food poisoning. i freaked out and started crying and when i stopped crying i just took out the blade and cut the inside of my ankle a bunch of times. there were about 5 people in the room with me and none of them noticed. i think i was hiding it pretty well although a few minutes later after they clotted my friend asked what they were. i sort of panicked but told her i fell up the stairs. one of my friends believed it but the other was rather suspicious. i stuck by my story and never told anyone i had cut myself. still to this day its a huge secret burning inside me. nobody knows i self harm but i am doing it more now on the inside of my ankle and my chest right under my left breast. i burned myself for the first time last night. i don’t think self harm is a big deal its just an awkward subject for a lot of people if they notice and ask me about it.

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Welcome to self-injury.net. We are a support community for self-harmers and also provide information on self-harm, creative works, media lists, lists of resources (helplines, textlines, mental health apps, therapists, etc.), etc. We focus on self-injury but a number of other mental health issues are included.

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  • self-injury.net
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  • self-injury.net is a self-harm community and resource founded in 1999. Provides support, resources, and information on self-harm.
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    Draco Malfoy Draco Malfoy
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