Have I Told Anyone?
Yes. A lot of people know.
My best friend knows I that I used to hurt myself when we were in eighth grade. My mom knows this too. One of my close friends at the time also knew, but we aren't in touch anymore, because we both went to different high schools and drifted apart. None of these people know that my self-harm has been an on-and-off problem for over four years now.
I told one of my friends from high school, because she was dealing with an eating disorder, and I felt that our struggles were similar, and that we could help each other. I was wrong. She hasn't mentioned it to me in years.
And I told a group of about 8 or 9 girls from a retreat that my high school sent us on. We were paired up together and spent several days discussing issues in our lives and opening up to one another. I even told them the times I tend to be at my most vulnerable to self-harm. But none of them ever checked up on me.
My mom sent me to a psychologist for a brief period of time, but I just wanted her off my back, so I pretended to be fine, pretended I saw the light, pretended to be "healed"... And she believed me. She took my word for it, and she stopped sending me to the psychologist. So I started self-harming again.
Everyone in my life who knows about this problem of mine has made it pretty clear how little they care.
Now it's getting worse.