[female, age 19, began to SI at age 17]
By Draco Malfoy,
Before: I feel angry, scared, hurt (by someone else), frustrated with myself for not being in control of something in my life, anxious (about anything- school, work, home life, etc.). or remembering how i felt in the past when i was abused or other instances when i felt small, weak, not able to protect myself from the people who have hurt me.\nWhile i’m cutting: I feel satisfied with having punished myself. Or i feel relieved of tensions.\nAfter: I feel guilty and upset with myself for having given in to it again- that starts the cycle all over again if i let it: i cut, feel guilty, cut because i feel guilty, and there it goes its a cycle. I feel scared sometimes that people will see the fresh cuts and think i’m weak or fragile or crazy. Scared that they might be afraid of me because of it. That they might talk behind my back, that sort of thing. Now its mostly just about my sister and brother and what if they found out?
Person [female, age 19, began to SI at age 17]